Every test in our life makes us bitter or better. 

Every problem comes to make us or break us.

Choice is ours, whether we become victim or victorious. 

There are days when you feel down and starts to questions the things happening in your life; like why are all my friends migrating somewhere awesome and I am still here, 6 years and counting, why is this happening to my career when I’ve always been honest, ethical and professional since day one of this journey, why does this have to happen to my loved ones while others have normal, perfect lives. Am I not worthy of a better life? Why can’t I afford that thing I want? Why does this happen to me? Am I a bad person? Does Allah love me? Have I been a bad daughter? Have I not tried lived my life in the most positive manners? You know, self-deprecating stuffs like that. 

But then, Allah answers them with my own voice inside my head; that dunia is nothing but temporary and life is short and fleeting, that He tests us to bring us back to His path and remind us that a perfect dunia is never the destination as it is unattainable, that with prayers and lots of doa, we will be closer to our Creator and be reminded that everything that happens in our lives is by His will and He is indeed the best planner. And as Imam Zaid Shakir aptly put it, “How bad can any suffering in this world be if it opens the door to unimaginable, eternal good in the life hereafter?” 

I read that sometimes prayers are not answered in the most literal sense. The writer gives example of a successful man who prays to achieve consistent khusyuk in solat, then his business hit rock bottom and failed. He questions why God do this to him when he has been nothing but a good Muslim. But then, when his business - that always kept him away from Allah, that always made him rush in his prayers and ibadah – failed, he submits completely to Allah and realized, his doa for khusyuk has been answered. When life knocks you down, you’re in the perfect position to pray! 

Today I choose to be grateful for the little things in my life right now that makes me happy; like the fact that Tan Hiok Nee nestles the most awesome kopitiams, that today MIL made masak lemak ikan merah with belimbing buluh and lotsa cili padi, our (Hadi and I) little ice cream fun this scorching hot afternoon, that Noah is literally a sumber ketenangan jiwa, how my husband, after almost 7 years of marriage, still makes me laugh almost every day, the flexibility of my work, albeit the lack of monies, that awesome Kingsman movie, and mostly for the little voice inside my head for those positive affirmations that I sometimes need so badly. 

Today I pray Allah grant me serenity to accept the things I cannot change and to always be thankful for all those little tests and blessings. For growing trees are strengthened, if they withstand the storm.

“People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing - that's why we recommend it daily.” - Zig Ziglar, advocate of "If you can dream it, you can change it"

 

I used to be a huge fan of self-help books. I still am, although these days, what little leisure time I have for myself is usually spent reading fictional novel/chic lit. It does nothing much for my soul, I know, but they give me the break I need from my own life. Heh. Am currently reading The 10 Commandments for Business Failure by Donald R. Keough, the former President of the Coca-Cola Company and man, it is inspiring and is surprisingly a very fun read!

I am a firm believer that motivation is the fuel every human being needs; because really, it is easier sometimes to be too contented, stuck in familiar everyday life and risks nothing. Sometimes, we need to be reminded, tak kisahlah by your significant other, your parents, or a motivational speaker or the least, by a book, of your purpose in this world and how you could be more if you could only raise your own bar. If you know me, you'd know that am not a fan of the MLM industry, and I shall not divulge my reasons why, but I have high respect for their positive attitude; the drive they have to become more. I once went to an Amway talk for fun and was mesmerized by the speaker and the positive souls around me; really, it was a room full of positivity and energy.

I read somewhere that mediocrity is a mindset where people often get stuck and do not know how to escape, and this can only be changed with mind renewal. And what is that, you ask? It’s motivation. Tapi tapi tapi, you if go to hundreds Dr Azizan talk, read thousands of The Secret and its like, listen countlessly to the positive chatter of Fadzilah Kamsah and Dr Muhaya, and still you refuse to change, then terima kasih sajalah.

Hell yeah.

This entry is a note to myself. As a Muslim woman, wife, daughter and mother, I have my own priority fixed by me for me. I don’t aspire to rule the world or become the next Iron Lady of Malaysia. But I do aspire to be the best of what I can be and I believe it’s achievable only if I strive for it and not be complacent with mediocrity.

And daily motivation helps tremendously. Trust me. 

"Every year on your birthday, you get a chance to start new." - Sammy Hagar

I like what an old friend wrote about birthdays; that he doesn’t deserve all the wishes, celebration and gifts, because he said, what have we done to deserve that? We owe our birthdays to God, and to our parents. I kinda agree with him. It goes without saying that we shall thank Allah for bestowing upon us years of living and yes, to our parents for making the momentous decision to keep us, raise us, showering us with love, affection and everything we need until we’re old enough to leave their nest. We owe them our lives. Forever indebted in so many ways.

 

I’m turning 31 tomorrow. Phewww that is a lot of number. Scary to be closer to wrinkles, old age maladies, white hair, and most importantly it’s scary to be older when you think hey, you have yet to do anything amazing and yes, still isn’t a better Muslim than you were last year. You’re not the best lawyer in town nor are you the most sought-after gift maker. You ain’t a trophy wife. Your son is turning three and he isn’t able to hafaz 30 surah like that genius kid Darwish, no thanks to you. Heck, even you yourself hafaz merely a few simple surahs, shame on you! You’re not really an awesome 31 years old, no thanks to you. I bet Michelle Obama was really awesome when she was 31.

 

Hahaha hey what is this negative talk on your birthday eve, woman? Muhasabah diri tajuknya. Anyhow, alhamdulillah. At least you’re sitting in an air-conditioned room, typing this and not begging for food to feed your children somewhere in a remote part of the world. MasyaAllah, so many blessings in my life. I just have to strive to be better, and that has got to start with me. 31 years of beautiful life, thank you Allah.

 

Oh and by the way, unlike my friend, I wouldn’t say no to birthday gifts. I have no shame. Heee.

 

 

 Har har har. Just kidding, girlfriends. You know I'll always be the chubby one.

 

 

"Eighty percent of success is showing up." - Woody Allen

 

 

Today I watched from afar a certain someone getting an opportunity, a rather undeserving one I must say, when that opportunity should have been given to someone more worthy. The difference between the first someone and the latter one is that the first one actually tried. Talking cryptic here, trying to disguise what I really am talking about. Heh.

 

When I was in uni, I read an inspiring article about people who keep on winning prizes from competition and such. The article points out that the difference between them and me is that they TRIED. As simple as that.

I was so moved that I actually went on a “trying” spree; competitions, articles, comments, and guess what, I did get a lot of prizes and cash money. I remember getting a lovely Swatch watch simply by getting picked as ‘Reader’s Comment of the Month’. It was a no brainer, but the fact was that I took the opportinuty to send what I was thinking rather than just sitting it out. Aku tulis ini mostly as a self reminder.

 

Memang key ingredient sangat mudah. Kau kena cuba. Kau mungkin tak akan berjaya. Tapi kalau kau tak cuba, kau tak mungkin akan berjaya. Because the only way to truly fail is to never try. Melainkan ada magis. Atau kroni.

 

 

“May Allah turn all our heartbreaks into hope, and free our hearts from the shackles that bind them.”

 

 

Reflect on this: Sometimes we lose hope in turning to God and asking for His help because we feel like we have done too much wrong. And yet think of a child who has just angered his mother and immediately after trips and falls on the stairs. Even if that child had just angered his mother to tears, the moment he falls and cries for help, she runs to him. This is human mercy. And God is infinitely more merciful than a mother is to her child. So, do you think -- no matter what you've done -- when you're falling and cry out to the most merciful ... He wouldn't come save you?

 

Sejak aku baca nukilan Yasmin Mogahed ini, aku tak boleh keluarkannya dari benak. Terlalu mudah analoginya, terlalu sampai maksudnya; Allah ada. Aku kepingin nukilan beliau, Reclaim Your Heart. Ulang tahun aku 24 hari lagi.

 

 

DOODLE OF THE DAY

“Although no one can go back and make a brand new start,

anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.” ― Carl Bard

 

 

 

 

Sometimes I wish my body has ‘undo’ and ‘restart’ buttons. Every time I say things I shouldn’t say, do things I shouldn’t have done, I wish I could just press the ‘undo’ key and erase them all away. That horrible comments I made, that unfunny jokes, that hurtful remarks I say, that raise of voice towards my boy, one key and voila, undone.

 

Oh of course I do not wish to restart my whole life, that would be tiresome. It’s for when I’m feeling low, or maladies hit me, or on days when I lack motivation and just go through the day like a wind passing by; that’s when I need that ‘restart’ button for my body. Restart. All neutral, recharged, hatred free, ready to absorb positivity.

 

You know what I’m saying, don’t you? Tell me I’m not the only crazy one here!

“Watch the little things; a small leak will sink a great ship.” - Benjamin Franklin

We shall rise and move on from this. Because we’re positive people. And positive people wouldn’t let - any barriers no matter how high, any temporary setback no matter how hard, any lies no matter how much it hurts - to come between us and success. Step up our game, we shall. Like a phoenix rising from ashes.

"I haven’t been everywhere, but it’s on my list." - Susan Sontag

 

 

The Youth Bucket Lists are funny. I mean, the things you really want to do before you die is “Tell Justin Bieber I love him, face to face, and not just over Twiter”? “Get a matching tattoo with my best friend”? “Have a boy sing to me”?

Oh oh and what about those “Sit front row at One Direction concert”, “Meet One Direction” and get this, “Shop at the official One Direction store”?! Surprisingly there really are a lot of those! Really, girls? One Direction? That’s what you really wanna do before you die? I know it’s your Bucket List and you are allowed to want anything that you want, and I too was once young and stupid, but come on lah, One Direction?! I'm lost for words T___T

 

Although I must say that this is a good one and I too must add this to my own list:

One day. Maybe one day. But first, travel, let's do that.

“What you do makes a difference, and you have to decide what kind of difference you want to make.” ― Jane Goodall

Inspiration comes in many forms. Like how reading Jeffrey Archer’s 'And Thereby Hangs A Tale' this morning inspires me to start writing short stories. Or maybe start drafting albeit only my head. Or maybe plot a clever robbery like the couple in Stuck On You (kidding).

And how Miss Sasha’s ever so awesome crafts inspires me to start a scrap book for Hadi. Have you seen her work? Mad talent. Mad, crazy awesome talent.

And how watching Machine Gun Preacher and finding out Sam Childers is real and a real life superhero at that makes me rethink my purpose in this world and although I may not be brave enough to fight for the children of Sudan, I realized I should contribute more to the society at large.

And how the husband’s newfound passion for extreme physical training inspires me to start working out, although I don’t think this will happen anytime soon, lazy bum I am, yawn.

And how Dr. Muhaya’s talk inspires me to be a better mother although sometimes when I’m too tired and restless I tend to forget all about that. Sorry Mama ain’t a supermom, Hadi.

And how Miss Hana Kirana’s hunger for good books (among others) made me pick up books again and forced myself to find time to read, to stop watching TV and read more. Not just Hot magazines which I read every month and still do (guilty, sorry, Dr. Muhaya) but real books. I did that and am so glad that I found renewed love in reading.

And how watching Kristen Stewart sucking big time playing Snow White in Snow White & The Huntsman makes me wanna strive to be better at what I do. I mean, have you seen her? She’s this mega superstar actor but looks like she was constipating throughout the whole movie. What’s up with that? I hope I am better lawyer (and diaper cake maker etc etc) than she is an actor.

And how DearBabyBlog.com inspires me to update this petty blog of mine more frequently although mine is far less interesting I know, but hey, practice makes perfect, or so they say. Have you read her blog? You should, especially if you're a mom. I cannot praise her writings enough but that is one madly talented blogger. You'll love her, I promise.

And how Eleanor Roosevel inspires everyone to “Do one thing everyday that scares you” and although I haven’t done anything scary today, I aspire to (a) appear in a Court of Appeal hearing before all those scary learned judges; (b) travel abroad with my super active toddler (shivers); or (c) maybe, just maybe, attempt bungee jump. OK I said maybe!

[Image Source: We Heart It, but pfffttt, edited by me]

So yeah, if you’re awesome, continue being awesome, because you might just inspire someone today. Or if you’re not, like Kristen Stewart, you might inspire in your own way too. Hah. Your choice. But keep on inspiring me with your awesomeness, will you?

Sugar, spice and everything nice; Marliza Radzi.

“Happiness is the consequence of personal effort. You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it, and sometimes even travel around the world looking for it. You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestations of your own blessings. And once you have achieved a state of happiness, you must never become lax about maintaining it, you must make a mighty effort to keep swimming upward into that happiness forever, to stay afloat on top of it. If you don’t, you will leak away your innate contentment. It’s easy enough to pray when you’re in distress but continuing to pray even when your crisis has passed is like a sealing process, helping your soul hold tight to its good attainments.” ― Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love


30 today, and blessed in so many ways; Awesome husband whom I adore wholeheartedly, my best friend, my pillar of strength. My wonderful parents I am forever indebted to. Darling son who lights up my life in so many ways whom I love with my whole being. My little brother who I miss every day and sister in law who is like a sis I never had. Lovely in laws who treat me like their own. Awesome friends all around me, and so so so much more.

Thank you Allah :') Thank you everyone who shines my life in so many ways, I am forever thankful :')

“I looked on childrearing not only as a work of love and duty but as a profession that was fully interesting and challenging as any honorable profession in the world and one that demanded the best that I could bring to it.” - Rose Kennedy, mother of former U.S. president John F. Kennedy (1890-1995)

You know how most working moms would say that they clock out from 1 job at 6 p.m. only to clock in another at 7? Yeah, that’s the reason for my lack of entry, not that anyone’s counting on it. Ngeee. Demanding day job, wifely/motherly duties, fun side business; terkadang take a toll on you juga. But most of the time, put aside lack of sleep/rest, I am A-OKAY! *thumbs up*

Oh and have you heard the quotes, that "Working mothers are guinea pigs in a scientific experiment to show that sleep is not necessary to human life"? Spot on! I have 1 kid! Imagine having 4 screaming kids, on top of demanding clients and house chores! (I just found out a new colleague of mine, a senior lawyer has 4 girls at home. 4! Respect!)

Hahaha. So true. Most moms I know, kalau rasa nak demam mesti berdebar, because we cannot afford to be sick! But I guess the Almighty has created us strong enough for all this; childrearing and what not, don’t you think so?

Being a working mom ain’t easy, juggling things and trying to make time for everything. And not to mention the guilt, oh the guilt! At work, you think about your kid and at home, you can’t help but think of unfinished task at work. Restless tau otak. But, but, but, being a SAHM/WFHM is not a walk in the park either! No no no! We each fight our own battle and this is mine. OK battle lah sangat. It’s no battle but not a picnic either because that’s just what life precisely is, kadang di atas kadang di bawah, kabhi kushi and kabhi gham.

Working moms, stay at home moms, work from home moms, single moms, stay at home wives, homemakers, happily single women; if you are nice, if you make other people happy, if you are thankful for your life, you all rock big time! Let’s just fight through the battle of life and enjoy each and every nice little picnics life offers us every now and then, and pray for the day when we all get to have awesome picnics every single day in Jannah, insyaAllah ;)

This entry is of course inspired by today’s theme of #FebPhotoADay challenge: Where I Work ;)

"Bullies are jerks, they wreck the profession for everyone, and you can beat them every time."

This is a seriously good, inspiring speech by Stephen C. Ellis, the managing partner at the law firm of Tucker, Ellis & West given at the Case Western reserve School of Law in Cleveland, Ohio, featured on DavidMaister.com. On Being a Happy and Successful Lawyer.

But really, anyone can relate to this piece, which is why I’m sharing it here. It’s a rather long read, but I promise you, it is worth it!


Being a Happy and Successful Lawyer

Thank you Dean Simson. Even after that gracious introduction, I can guess what most of you are thinking. Who is this guy? The most informative parts of my background are not in my public bio, so let me tell you a little more to help set the stage for what I’ll be talking about. First, I am a lifetime Cleveland resident. I am married to my high school sweetheart of 40 years ago, and in 1972, I graduated from this great law school.

Other than talking my wife into marrying me and our terrific sons and grandchildren, attending this school is hands down the most important event of my life. My three years here changed everything for me. The sort of squared away corporate type you see standing here this afternoon bears no resemblance to the bell bottomed, lamb chop side-burned college kid of 40 years ago. I look at photos of me and my friend back then and it looks like we were transported here from a strange place very far away.

Before showing up here in the fall of 1969, I was the fun guy your parents wanted you to stay away from. In fact I essentially majored in fun at Denison University, and with graduation looming I was looking for something to do besides start working. A bright enough student bored by academics, I took the LSAT’s on a flyer, slightly hung over (to my earlier point), and did great, good enough to get me on the waiting list at Case. Back then, when Case was just starting to become a highly respected school, the waiting list was pretty short and didn’t take long to clear, so I got in.

By the third week I was totally hooked. I loved law school and the idea that I would know the rules of how society worked — like someone gave me the back of the Scrabble box. I did very well at our school and for the first time, started to think of myself as someone who could actually accomplish things.

In the summer of ’71 I took a job as a summer clerk at what was Arter & Hadden, a 70 lawyer Cleveland firm. Starting as a trial lawyer. I went on to be a transactional M&A/finance type and was able to build a successful, really fun practice. At the too early age of 43 I became managing partner, and ran the place for ten years as it grew to a nearly 500 lawyer firm. In 2000 a friend and colleague took over as managing partner and three years later in 2003, that nearly 160-year-old firm, and my only job for 30 years, collapsed.

Now if it’s true that we only learn from our mistakes, with all the degrees that surround me, I am without a doubt the best educated person in the room. But this story has an unbelievably happy ending, because the Cleveland office of Arter & Hadden didn’t scatter and collapse into finger pointing lawsuits like virtually every other failed firm. Our lawyers turned down all sorts of great offers to jump ship. We put our money up, signed personally for the bank loan to get started, and chose to stay together as a team. All but perhaps 5 or 6 of our partners, associates and staff, maybe 200 people, threw their lots in together, and we formed Tucker Ellis & West, which is a truly great place to practice.

So, it’s been 36 years since I was sitting where you are, waiting for someone like me to finish, and I still love being a lawyer. Every day brings new issues to wrestle, I spend my time with bright, completely engaged people, and all of my clients are people I’m proud to call my friends. I find myself very close to my lifelong goal of not spending one second doing things I don’t want to do or being with people I don’t want to be with.

I tell you all of this not to brag - well at least that’s not the only reason - but because our new firm rose out of some hard simple truths about what’s good and not so good about being a lawyer today.

The fact is our profession has become increasingly unhappy over the past couple of decades. I am convinced the vast majority of that unhappiness derives from a singleseemingly innocuous event in the late 1980’s: The American Lawyer magazine began publishing the AM LAW 100, and listed the profits per partner of the 100 largest firms. Virtually all of the firms in this country immediately bought in to that statistic as the only credible measure of success. The game was on - we lawyers would now take our measure almost entirely from money, at least in terms of what was publicly discussed. Without question, integrity, service and professionalism were important, but how we measured ourselves was money.

This was a terrible mistake and now, more and more of us see its dark implications: the bragging rights on how many billable hours we charge (and the matching lost weekends and evenings); rates that are topping $1000 an hour; and clients who believe their files are being worked to death by armies of inexperienced associates. All of this so the largest firms can bump their statistical rankings and everybody else can compare themselves to the published stars.

But the worst of all this is: that we’ve chosen simply money, as our measure of success. It’s too simple to say, “Money is the root of all evil” because it’s not. And I know that the absence of money is a pretty good predicator of unhappiness. But money, just money all by itself, does not provide a sense of worth or accomplishment, or even peace of mind. The fact is, it’s in our DNA to always want a little more, and getting more only feeds the need to get a little more.

Here’s the formula on personal budgets that if you don’t already know, you soon will. I know all of your parents know this. And you should write this formula down because it’s as immutable as a law of physics. Your monthly expenses always equal your monthly income plus $300. No matter what, we’re all looking for “just a little more”.

Now we’re going to do a ten second experiment. Take a moment and reflect on the occasions when you felt truly happy - and please don’t name ‘listening to this talk”. [8 seconds of silence] I submit that not one of you is thinking about money or material things. Our best times are always with people we care about, doing things that bring us closer together. But knowing that, we let ourselves climb on this treadmill, running harder and harder, like that donkey trying to catch the carrot on a stick.

I believe this is beginning to change, at least in the arena where lawyers have to keep increasing the hours they devote to work. Hours are being recognized as an irrational measure of value. Nobody calls a lawyer asking them to please spend twenty hours on a project. Clients want to pay us for what we do, not how long it takes us to do it.

In fact, a growing minority of lawyers and clients are starting to move away from hours as the basis for fees. The feature of Tucker Ellis & West about which I am most proud is that we have no billable hour requirement. We value our people for what they accomplish. And that decision has been hugely liberating for us.

I submit there’s much more to being a satisfied lawyer than making a lot of money. Back when I was running Arter & Hadden I would speak to our incoming class of associates and suggest that if their career goal as lawyers was to get rich, they should seriously consider a career change. My point was that most law practices by their nature are designed to produce a comfortable living, not make us rich. We don’t take big financial risks, we don’t make critical business decisions, we are fundamentally well educated consultants.

If you’ve decided to become a lawyer solely to make money if to you it’s simply a job I fear you’ll hate it. As a career and a calling it’s great, and unbelievably interesting, but as simply a job, it’s way too hard and stressful. It’s the people, the pace and the endless puzzles of the law that make being a lawyer fulfilling. If you want tons of money for working twenty hours a day and nausea-inducing stress, Wall Street investment banking may be just the thing . In that business the grand old men are burnt out at 45.

Over the past few years I’ve come to some conclusions on finding guideposts that will give us lawyers the best chance of being successful, in the sense of truly enjoying our lives and careers as lawyers. They are simple, some might say “trite”. But 36 years of listening to happy and desperately unhappy lawyers and watching colleagues succeed as lawyers and people, and some fail, I know that these may be cliché’s, but I also know they are true.

I’m going to talk about a handful of these “truisms”, only a couple of which I’ve made up, on being a successful lawyer in the sense of being fulfilled. Just so you know how close I am to wrapping up, there are nine of these, and they’re pretty short.

First, be someone others count on. Most folks talk a good game; very few come through. Clients come to you because they have a situation they cannot solve on their own. Most are not looking for an analysis of the law. Most want you to solve a problem. So solve it, don’t add to their problem by being hard to find, by missing deadlines, or by simply describing their problem back to them. It’s like going to the dentist when you have a toothache. You want it fixed and you want it fixed now. That’s what a client wants every time they talk to you. Walk in with a problem, walk out with a solution.

What they want is someone they can count on to make their lives simpler, to accomplish what they want accomplished. If you can simply do that, you’ll be sought out as an extraordinarily effective lawyer. And there is a real difference in your sense of self between being simply a resource; somebody who knows the law, and the person that people count on to solve their problems.

Second - be an interesting person, for your own good and so that clients think of you as more than a lawyer. A decent definition of hell is a dinner party companion who is a first year lawyer on the day after his or her first trial. Law stuff is interesting mostly to lawyers. In fact, it’s real interesting to lawyers, so that’s what we talk about all the time, just like you talk about law school all the time.

Force yourself to do be able to talk about more than law - read books, go to movies, be part of politics, go to lectures. You’ll meet people, you’ll be able to talk about things that other people find interesting, and you won’t burn out on your job.

The horror stories you hear about associates working 2500 hours a year? You will be surprised when you see how much of that is self imposed. These young lawyers get caught up in the chase and find that what they’re doing more interesting than anything else- so they become that boring self absorbed dining companion. The world’s full of great people with jobs and hobbies that are just as demanding and just as fascinating as yours, (assuming you make yourself get a hobby). Learn about them. You’ll be happier and much more fun to be with.

Here is another obvious but ignored truth. Look out for yourself. Nobody cares about you like you do except maybe your parents, and you won’t be working for them. My late and very wise father used to tell me to not worry about what people were thinking about me, because they weren’t. They were thinking about themselves.

Your employer may have a mentoring program, but nobody is mentored into a success. Mentors are important, but they are only a resource. Accept that you are in charge of your success. So if you think you need experience in an area, make it your business to go get it. Ask somebody; don’t wait for it to come along. Don’t wait for somebody to notice that you’re missing an important skill. Ask for a promotion - people aren’t watching what you do as carefully as you think or hope.

Also, determination matters. It matters more than intellect. The streets are littered with directionless geniuses with unexecuted good ideas. Woody Allen had it pretty dead on when be said that 90% of success is simply showing up. You won’t suddenly have a great career. Nobody ever does. The secret is simple- great careers are the result of day after day deciding to do good work and being someone who others count on.

Be enthusiastic. Because we deal in rules, it’s real easy to fall into cataloging all the reasons something won’t work or why somebody shouldn’t do something. In fact, we lawyers take pride in being the first one to find fault with an idea. Makes us look smart. In my days as managing partner I would roll out a strategic initiative, and I could see my partner’s eyes starting to spin. Who would get the prize for being the first one to spot the flaw?

Clients want to do things - they don’t call you so they can not do things. They want to stay in the borders of the law, but they want to be told how to do what they want to do. And they want to know that you’re happy to be part of what they’re doing. There is no better way to end a client meeting than saying “This is going to be great” and to mean it. It’s fun to be charged up - to add energy to every conversation.

Trust yourself. You are a very bright person or you wouldn’t be here today. I think among the most important conclusions I came to as a young lawyer was that if I didn’t understand something, it was because the thing in fact didn’t make sense, not because I was stupid. Most of the times I’ve found myself in hot water it’s because I let a conversation continue past the point where I understood what was being said. And virtually every time I would say “stop, I’m not following this,” someone would come up to me after the meeting and say “Boy I’m glad you said that. I had no idea what we were talking about.”

Get involved. Organize the reunion or the bicycle race. Chair the church committee. Help people who have not enjoyed your good fortune. You have spent three years learning how to organize your thoughts, analyze a situation, and articulate action plans. Use those skills everywhere in your life. Stuff will get done, people will appreciate your initiative, and you will derive great satisfaction from making things better.

Here are my final two unappreciated but clearly true truths: The toughest lawyer is not the one who is the most obnoxious. Clients will say they want a tough son of a gun to make somebody life’s miserable, a real bulldog, etc. Don’t be that person. It’s been my 100% uniform experience that the bulldog only adds time, expense, stress and confusion to an otherwise inevitable result. Even clients can’t stand them after a couple of months. You want to be tough? Have the best preparation on the facts, the law and the strategy. Judges care only about those things, not a whit for bluster. Bullies are jerks, they wreck the profession for everyone, and you can beat them every time.

And finally and hands down most importantly, and please pass this on to your friends and your children, because it’s really important — Be nice and have fun. Just doing that makes life better for everybody, mostly you.

And now really finally, and this is not a truth, but what I think you should do - thank the people who have helped you get to where you are today, and fully enjoy this moment - you have earned it.

I am honored to have this opportunity today and I wish all of you good fortune, and fun, in this great profession. To each of you, “This is going to be great.”

“What's so good about being 20? I call them the materialist years. The years we get distracted by all the bullshit. Then we cop on when we hit our 30s and spend those years trying to make up for the 20s. But your 40s? Those years are for enjoying it.” - Cecelia Ahern in Love, Rosie

When the doctor asked me how old I am and I answered, “30 this year”, I swear I freaked out a bit. In two months I’ll be 30! THREE. FREAKING. ZERO. It’s not that aku rasa being 30 tua sangat ke apa, it’s just that I remember back when I was a student, I always look up to kakak-kakak in their 30s, with career and money and kids; aku rasa mereka sangat grown up and accomplished. Quoting the girl from the movie 13 Going On 30, “Thirty, flirty and thriving.”

And now I’m gonna be one of the kakaks in my 30s. Sangat grown up lah, so grown up that I feel like rewarding myself with something cool on my birthday this year. Something that says, ‘Congratulations Self, For Turning 30’. Kah kah.


Did you know that Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Britney Spears and Jonathan Taylor Thomas all turned 30 last year? Man, they were once so young! And now they’re 30?! I feel so old. Oh Beyonce too will turn 30 this year. And she said she’s going to retire once she hits the big 3-0, yeah, she’s that accomplished, tahap boleh retire dah at 30, when manusia biasa like me terkedek-kedek dalam career path. And now she is a mother. How more (duniawi) perfect can one be?! Oh well.

According to This Is London, things you must do before turning 30 includes:

Buy a property. Have a baby. Live abroad. Build your brand. Leave parental home, because life begins when you fly the nest. Look after the pennies – save up! Drop out of the rat race. Co-habit with a partner, be it boyfriends or friends. Own a designer handbag; paid for with your own hard-earned cash, equals job satisfaction by the bucketload. Grow a pair, learn to stand up for yourself, how to say "no" and more importantly, how to entertain the notion of being right. Baz Luhrmann was right, always wear sunscreen. Dump the debt – settle your student loan. Build up your black book – because information is power, and networking ability will always stand you in good stead. Be a fashion victim. Heal a broken heart. Get married. Take it to the extreme, push your body to its limit. Write a book; Flaubert, Kafka, Fitzgerald, Updike and Walcott all pushed out classics before 30, so writing a decent tome is actually possible too. Know who your friends are. Learn to cook. Learn a language. Make a million, or at least earn your age. Find yourself. Have a summer of love. Get a second life; Don't let work become life. Extracurricular activities could also help you unearth your real passion. Sleep when you're dead, because everyone knows the best fun starts after midnight. Start a business; Take the plunge while you still have nothing to lose.

What a cute list. Glad to know I could check off a few from the list, phewww. Hehehe. I would really like to start my own 30 Before 30 Project of 30 things I must do before turning 30. But March 30th is in just 2 months and I’m afraid aku akan hangat-hangat tahi ayam. We’ll see, maybe I’ll come up with something. Or maybe I’ll just be lazy, cheat and think of what to get myself as my ‘Congratulations Self, For Turning 30’ gift. Hahaha.

Oh, just so you know, hubs’ already had his ‘Congratulations Self, For Turning 30’ all planned out; he wants a Ducati Monster! Pfffttt, man!

But really, still being given the chance to live this perfectly wonderful life is a gift itself :)

“When I started counting my blessings, my whole life turned around.” - Willie Nelson

My life is far from perfect. There are days when I wish I had someone else’s life but there are days like today, that I feel thankful for mine. I am thankful that I have a husband who entertains my obsession with good food. I am thankful that he works hard like a real man should and still tell me once in a blue moon (lying or not, whatever) that I’m pretty despite my sagging tummy. I am thankful for my little boy who apparently loves cats more than I do. I am thankful that I am blessed with the chance to be a mother and to feel this indescribable affection I have for my boy. I am thankful that we have a comfortable place to call our own, to go back to everyday.

I am thankful for my parents who are still very much in love with each other, with us their children and especially with my son. I am thankful for my dad who still buys me stuffs even though I’m a working, almost 30 years old adult. I am thankful for my mother who cries each time I give her my hard earned money simply because she’s proud of me. I am thankful that I have an awesome friend in my little brother. I am thankful that he found love in my sister in law, whom I adore and treat my parents really well.

I am thankful for my in laws who love my son to the core and treat me like their own. I am particularly thankful for my mother in law who is far from the monstrous mother in laws you see on TV, who made bubur chacha yesterday instead of bubur kacang because she knows I hate the latter. I am thankful for my best friends and the fact that miles can never tear our bonds apart. I am thankful that everyone I love is generally in the pink of health.

I am thankful that I have a job that pays bills and buys me pretty things once in a while. I am thankful that I discover that I can make extra money from my passion for pretty things, by assembling adorable stuffs and tying ribbons symmetrically. I am thankful that I am quite good at both jobs that I do, at least I think so, so yeah, I am thankful for the confidence.

I am thankful that despite the strict office rules that I hate, I have nice bosses, awesome colleagues and equally awesome staffs. I am thankful to both God and my parents that I am essentially a positive person. I am not optimistic all the time but I’ve seen truly pessimistic people who think life is bullshit and talk negative all the time, and I know I’m not one of them, and I’m thankful for that. I am thankful for lots of other good things in my life so yeah, I am thankful to the Almighty for blessing me all of the above and more.

I am thankful that once in a while like today, Allah opens up my eyes to see the beauty in my life and be thankful. With my entire being, alhamdulillah :)

“May your coming year be filled with magic and dreams and good madness.”

While boring old me fell asleep on New Year’s Eve, even before the clock strikes 12, Neil Gaiman wrote this profound piece on his online JOURNAL:

“A decade ago, I wrote:

May your coming year be filled with magic and dreams and good madness. I hope you read some fine books and kiss someone who thinks you're wonderful, and don't forget to make some art -- write or draw or build or sing or live as only you can. And I hope, somewhere in the next year, you surprise yourself.

And almost half a decade ago I said,

... I hope you will have a wonderful year, that you'll dream dangerously and outrageously, that you'll make something that didn't exist before you made it, that you will be loved and that you will be liked, and that you will have people to love and to like in return. And, most importantly (because I think there should be more kindness and more wisdom in the world right now), that you will, when you need to be, be wise, and that you will always be kind.

And for this year, my wish for each of us is small and very simple.

And it's this. I hope that in this year to come, you make mistakes.

Because if you are making mistakes, then you are making new things, trying new things, learning, living, pushing yourself, changing yourself, changing your world. You're doing things you've never done before, and more importantly, you're Doing Something.

So that's my wish for you, and all of us, and my wish for myself. Make New Mistakes. Make glorious, amazing mistakes. Make mistakes nobody's ever made before. Don't freeze, don't stop, don't worry that it isn't good enough, or it isn't perfect, whatever it is: art, or love, or work or family or life.

Whatever it is you're scared of doing, Do it.

Make your mistakes, next year and forever.”


So here’s to making mistakes, trying new things, learning, living, pushing ourselves, changing ourselves and ultimately changing our own world. 2012, bring it on!

Pleasure is spread through the earth
In stray gifts to be claimed by whoever shall find.
- William Wordsworth, 1806

I am easily touched. Easily smitten. Easily pleased.

Today I found myself virtually flipping through pages by pages of the freaking awesome DearBabyBlog and it instantly improved my mood (I was borderline PMS-ing earlier). Positive, funny, heartwarming blogs never failed me.

Oh and did I tell you that I laughed like a mad woman watching Hollywood crappy production, Beverly Hills Chihuahua; simply because the dogs are cute, it was a feel good movie and I’m a big fan of Drew Barrymore’s adorable voice?

Told ya I’m easily pleased T___T

My baby, who is obviously not anymore a baby by definition, seems to know how to take advantage of this fact; a mere kiss on the cheek, calling Mama in the most manja voice he can fake, or a generous bear hug, and I’d be head over heel in love.

Told ya I’m easily smitten T___T

The day before yesterday, as I was folding a mountain full of our clothes, hubs said “Rajinnya Wifey,” and I smirked at him. Obviously I was just doing it because well, you gotta do what you gotta do. Then he said, “Thank you”, and my heart melted.

Told ya I’m easily touched T___T

I mean, now and then, I do secretly crave for grand display of romance; surprise holiday to Venice, romantic candle light dinner, public sharing of emotion via social medias (kah kah so remaja but I think to a certain extent, it's kinda sweet), etcetera etcetera. But simple stuffs like, tapau-ing dinner when I’m too tired to cook, making time to listen to my ridiculous everyday issues and saying “Thank You” for the things that I do, well, nothing beats that.

And tonight, we're flying to KL and I’m excited beyond words to meet my parents and to possibly make my way to the Crafty Art Market tomorrow. Pretty stuffs make me happy!

Told ya I’m easily pleased. Let us all try to find magic in the mundane, shall we? :)

(Image Source: WeHeartIt.Com)

"For growing trees are strengthened if they withstand the storm"

The first time I discovered this poetry, I was 16 I think. There it was, in the corner of the readers’ column of an English newspaper, staring at me. 13 years later, it still gives me goose bumps every time I read it. The author is unknown, but whoever wrote this, I just want to thank him or her for the wonderful reminder, beautifully written, aptly told.

How very true it is that, rain or sunshine, happiness or sorrow, Allah SWT is the only one who knows what is best for each and everyone of us. MasyaAllah.

Allah knows what’s best for us
So why should we complain
We always want the sunshine
But He knows there must be rain

We always want the laughter
And the merriment of cheer
But our hearts will lose their tenderness
If we never shed a tear.

Allah tests us often
With suffering and with sorrow
He tests us not to punish us
But to help us meet tomorrow

For growing trees are strengthened
If they withstand the storm
And the sharp cut of the chisel
Gave the marble grace and form

Allah tests us often
And for every pain He gives to us
Provided we’re patient
Is followed by rich again

So whenever we feel that everything is going wrong
It is just Allah’s way
To make our spirit’s strong.
Image Source: WeHeartIt.com

"Whatever you are, be a good one." - Abraham Lincoln

Selamat siang, anak-anak sekalian! Waduh-waduh, kok jarang sekali aku mengemas kini laman ini. Bukan aku enggak sayang lagi, no no no. Aku cuma begitu repot dengan bisnis kek popok (untuk kalian yang enggak faham, popok ialah diapers ya). Bukanlah bisnis aku begitu kencang, bukan, cuma aku kan ada day job, dan kapan-kapan, aku lelah sungguh selepas semuanya. And there’s a deal I’m looking into, aku belum pasti whether I’m ready for it, but hey, a ship in a harbour is safe, but that’s not what a ship is built for, right?

Anyways, aku tulis ini cuma mahu tunjuk bisniskad baru aku, designed and printed by KertasPuteh. Bagus enggak? Waduh talented sungguh KertasPuteh itu I tell you, go to their Facebook page to see more products. Highly recommended!

Dan untuk kalian yang enggak tahu lagi, Diaper Cake and Such is now on Blogspot as well: http://diapercakeandsuch.blogspot.com Ya aku tahu, rupanya memang basic. Siapa boleh design template manis untuk aku dengan harga yang bagus?

Untuk kalian yang datang ke laman ini mencari inspirasi, aku dedikasikan ini untuk kalian, a little something from a show I have been missing so much:

Meredith Grey of Grey's Anatomy: "A couple of hundred years ago, Benjamin Franklin shared with the world the secret of his success. Never leave that till tomorrow, he said, which you can do today. This is the man who discovered electricity. You think more people would listen to what he had to say. I don't know why we put things off, but if I had to guess, I'd have to say it has a lot to do with fear. Fear of failure, fear of rejection, sometimes the fear is just of making a decision, because what if you're wrong? What if you're making a mistake you can't undo? The early bird catches the worm. A stitch in time saves nine. He who hesitates is lost. We can't pretend we hadn't been told. We've all heard the proverbs, heard the philosophers, heard our grandparents warning us about wasted time, heard the damn poets urging us to seize the day. Still sometimes we have to see for ourselves. We have to make our own mistakes. We have to learn our own lessons. We have to sweep today's possibility under tomorrow's rug until we can't anymore. Until we finally understand for ourselves what Benjamin Franklin really meant. That knowing is better than wondering, that waking is better than sleeping, and even the biggest failure, even the worst, beat the hell out of never trying."

So yeah, apa-apapun, you gotta just try, OK? Promise me you will! Untuk kalian yang lain, aku doakan semoga Oktober kalian lebih awesome.

Daaa, sampai aku tulis lagi, sayang-sayangku semua!

“I cannot and will not cut my conscience to fit this year's fashions.” - Lillian Hellman

“Never let people impose anything that is against your principle or your wish - ON YOU.” - Anis Liyana. Such a simple reminder (which is aptly, the title of her blog) and a powerful one too. Liya wrote that in one of her entries about her wedding experience. On how a wedding can be sharie-compliant serta tak perlu mengikut arus semasa or terpengaruh dengan peer pressure tapi masih perfect in your very own way. Very inspiring.

Kim Kardashian the bridezilla can learn a thing or two from that. Ngeh.

Anyways yeah, you should never let people impose anything that is against your principle on you. But this is not applicable in every situation ya.

When the government imposes that ‘thou shall pay your taxes’; you should pay lah ya. No matter lah sekalipun if you think, “What the what? Naaaaah! I don’t wanna pay no tax if my money is gonna be used for that useless mega project!” This is unavoidable. Unless you want to suffer the consequences, silalah. Jail time, apa ada hal, ya tak?

Or when your lecturer imposes that ‘thou shall complete your assignment by tomorrow’, unless you want to repeat semester again and again like some artist who claimed on national TV that he’s a freaking lawyer when he didn’t even go through chambering (Eh? Emo?), by all means, you should complete your assignment.

Or when your office management imposes that you should clock in by 9, no matter how ridiculous you think it is to impose such stupid rules on a professional, you should abide by it, or like some rebellious people (me me me!), you can just stick to your principle kejadah (sebenarnya pemalas) dan nantikan hukuman di kemudian hari.

Tapi dalam keadaan lain yang berkenaan diri awak, YA AWAKLAH, AWAK, never let other people impose anything on you that is against your principle or your wish!

Awak rasa hijabi fashion nowadays tend to be over the top and some even melanggar syariat? Janganlah ikut, no matter how trendy it is to don the out-of-bed hijab look, no matter how out of place you might look in KLCC with your tudung bawal instead of Erika Badu-inspired turban, tak perlu ikut. No offence. I do think Hana Tajima-style is cool and can be sharie-compliant if you lower your shawl the right way. It’s just that, naaah, I’m too lazy.


(Image is from http://7jabe7jab.maktoobblog.com/ - Click to enlarge)

Awak rasa it is your ultimate right and choice to breastfeed your baby, even in public, then persetankanlah orang yang pandang serong! The security guard who dared halau the breastfeeding mom tu mesti panas telinga now that it becomes a huge issue tahap breastfeeding flashmob! I personally never nurse in public (except in plane, untuk tidurkan bayi) but hey, if the mom thinks it is OK to do so, with the proper covering and what not, persetankanlah siapa nak impose No BF In Public! Anggap saja mereka kurang kasih sayang.

Awak tak mahu shave eyebrow masa kahwin sebab rasa macam langgar shariat dan drawn-eyebrows kelihatan hodoh? Janganlah! Kalau mak andam tu nak shave juga eyebrow awak, awak tendang toot dia, noks, jangan tak tendang! Which is what I wish I did to the mak andam on hub’s side. Mencik aku. Kalau aku jumpa kau lagi, nyah, aku tendang kau nyah, siap kau.

Tapi kalau awak rasa puasa against principle awak sebab it is against your diet plan, pfftt, awak boleh pergi berjemur bawah matahari pada jam 12 sebentar lagi, practice lah, macam itulah rasanya 0.0000001% dari perasaan neraka jahanam. Kah kah. Gulp.