Thursday, July 07, 2011

"Between a man and his wife nothing ought to rule but love" - William Penn


Bak kata Dr Rozmey, “Kasih sayang suami isteri kunci kebahagiaan.” Tak perlu berambut leper bahagi dua atau mempunyai DR di hadapan nama yang dicurigai banyak pihak, akupun tahu itu satu perkara yang sangat benar. Sebab itu, kalau kerani kaunter kerajaan yang berurusan dengan kau tadi masam mencuka, kau akan kata, “Mesti gaduh dengan suami dia pagi tadi.” Sebab bila rasa bahagia dengan suami, insyaAllah memang akan bahagia sepanjang hari.

I know I’m like that. Kalau ada tak puas hati atau rajuk yang tak dipujuk atau hati yang berkecil, pasti terkesan sungguh hidup seharian rasanya. Although no, I don’t go barking around at my clients, but yes, pasti akan gundah, sedikitlah jika tak banyak.

Allah pun dah jelas kata, “Antara tanda-tanda yang membuktikan kekuasaannya dan rahmatNya, bahawa ia menciptakan untuk kamu (Wahai kaum lelaki), isteri-isteri dari jenis kamu sendiri, supaya kamu bersenang hati dan hidup mesra dengannya, dan dijadikannya di antara kamu (suami isteri) perasaan kasih sayang dan belas kasihan.”

I missed the talk show featuring Marina Mahathir and OWC on BFM yesterday. OK bukan missed, aku tak tahu frekuensi BFM in Johor (jika ada) dan hanya baca banyak ulasan-ulasan di Twitter. Ramai kata DJ berat sebelah, menyokong Marina berterusan. DJs should be impartial lah kan, namapun Pengerusi Majlis. Ramai kata OWC talked craps. Aku rasa mungkin juga Marina yang tersangat eloquent. But is it true that the OWC lady said something about tak perlu friendship dengan suami, kalau nak friendship, cari kawan perempuan? Does she really believe that? Bukankah tak benar? My parents have been best friends for 30 years and counting. And I know I have a great friend in my hubs as well. Oh well, it's her POV.

Anyways, my take on OWC? Despite their controversial advices and what not, I think they meant well lah. It’s true what, kau kena dengar cakap suami kau, melainkan dia suruh kau buat sesuatu yang Allah larang. Dalam erti kata lain, taat agak-agaklah, babe!

Tapi kalau suami kau dalam penuh keimanan dan kasih sayang minta kau buat something tapi kau tak mahu taat suami kau, kau boleh jawab dengan Tuhan kat akhirat nanti. See you there! (Sebab kadang-kadang akupun suka melawan ;P)

Although OWC’s statement about wives should be better than a first class prostitute is a tad too much and OH SO EYEWWW, I think they meant well. It’s just maybe they’re not really good with words, so it came out wrong. I don’t know. I have a feeling that they meant well.

I mean, these Arqam women are not some dumb doormats; most of them are professionals and highly educated! And although they once tersilap memuja pemimpin keterlaluan, I must say that cara hidup dalam keluarga Arqam sangat berpaksikan Islam (I know this because I have many, and by many I mean MANY MANY MANY sedara orang Arqam).

Educated Muslimah will not purposely downgrade themselves like that dan buat Islam nampak macam merendahkan martabat wanita. Which is why I think they meant well. Maybe it just came out wrong. Berapa banyak kali aku gunakan ayat ‘they meant well’ di sini shows that I really think they meant well. Hahaha. Bear with me. I’m vocabulary-challenged like that.


But yeah, I agree OWC talk craps sometimes. Contoh ya contoh. Ini statement Fauziah Ariffin: “Hence, as wives, we must treat our husbands better. It’s not just in bed, but everything that a wife can offer. Optimise your role. If we provide our husbands more than a prostitute can give, then our husbands will not go out looking for it.” First part bukankah elok saja, tapi kemudian dia menyambung tentang perlu jadi lebih dari pelacur. Kah kah.

Tapi kemudian dia sambung lagi, “There are four things that wives must do to enter heaven: to pray, to fast during Ramadan, to protect their chastity, and to be obedient wives – and it is often the fourth aspect that modern wives neglect.” Aku rasa ini matlamat OWC sebenarnya. They should stress more on this! Enough already talking about prostitutes and what not! Stress on this!

As such, OWC should appoint one good, articulate spoke person, supaya society faham perjuangan mereka dengan jelas. I believe all they want to do is promote good healthy marriage with an aim to bersama-sama membawa keluarga ke Jannah. Who doesn’t want that? Kita semua mahu bersama suami dan anak-anak kita di syurga kan?

Or maybe, just maybe, mainstream media with their distorted wordings and salah faham yang telah buat OWC looks bad. Oh well, seperti biasa, aku atas pagar. Kenapa begitu? Sebab ada yang bagus dan ada yang tidak. Yang bagus, tujuan. Yang tak bagus, mungkin cara. Lagipun kita manusia memang tak bagus belaka. Yang bagus setiap masa hanya Tuhan. Tapi tak perlulah kau hentam OWC habis-habisan. Cuba fahamkan asas perjuangan mereka. And chill lah.

Paul Sir, a columnist for the Borneo Post said it best, “As I’m not a Muslim, it would be insensitive of me to comment in a negative manner on an issue brought up by Muslims. I like to consider that believers know their respective faiths better and hence, I think that I have to respect what they say or do even if I disagree with their words or deeds.

Secara asasnya, isteri wajib hormat dan taat suami dan suami wajib hormat dan pelihara isteri. Kemudian bercintalah! Kau tak mahu jadi macam pelacur kelas pertama? Tak apalah. Akupun tak mahu. Lantaklah jika Fauziah Ariffin dan Dr. Rohaya Mohamad mahu. Chill, babe.


And here’s wishing my bestie Ayin and Zul a happy 4th wedding anniversary and many more years of love, friendship, laughter and adventures! ;D Kau TAAT tak, Ayin? Hehe!

12 comments:

AyinEmran said...

Owh so well written, so brilliant! Aku cadangkan kau je lah jadi spokeperson OWC! Dan terima kasih, insyaallah aku cuba untuk taat. :)

amicus curiae said...

bfm podcast kan ada.

Marliza Radzi said...

Ayin: Aku tak boleh jadi, aku tak articulate. Dan aku tak mahu jadi macam 1st class pros. Kih kih.

Amicus Curiae: Tak berkesempatan.

azura.naem said...

Samalah. Aku pun merasakan they meant well. Tapi bila keluar the word pelacur first class tu, everyone focus yang tu je lah. *roll eyes* But there's a lot of truth in that kan? If everything is satisfactory and your man still leaves you, qada' qadar je la kan. You married an ass and still get to syurga foc.Oh, tapi no friendship in marriage? Kasihannya wanita itu.

Marliza Radzi said...

Zura: Kan! Media asyik focus on that one statement saja. Biasalah, subjek yang boleh jual paper.

Rin said...

suka entri ni :)
baguslah sebab duduk atas pagar. bukan sebab tak ada pendirian tapi orang kata, kalau sesat di bawah cari tempat tinggi sebab boleh nampak dengan jelas dan luas..

pet said...

Salam.slalu jd silent reader je but have to comment lah jugak.haha. At first masa keluar paper I pun roll eyes tp bila dengar debate kt BFM tu I personally rasa dorang ni misleading people especially non-muslim bout marriage in Islam...and I mean both of them.

I rasa pun Dr. Azlina niat baik sbb ramai isteri sekarang susah nak taat tapi ada gk point2 yg off sketla..and marina mahathir pulak mcm too liberal..sampai I rasa mcm dia ni ada issue pulak sama muslim man.

I rasa patut dowang panggil sorang lg masa debate tu mcm Dr. Mashitah ke supaya lebih neutral and tak bias.

Ummi Salsabila said...

Saya suka penulisan akak! Admire lah.so brilliant.:)

nadmin said...

Memang eloklah Am bcg bab ni :)

Sebab bila orang lelaki sokong perjuangan OWC supaya isteri mentaati suami, akan ada org dengan sinis berkata "mmg la sokong. Sebab kau suami".

Moose said...

i too somehow rasa yg OWC ni meant well but don't really know how to properly channel their opinion.

i was one of those yang eyes rolling masa dr. rohana tu samakan isteri perlu layan suami macam pelacur kelas atasan. perlukah perumpamaan macam tu?

Marliza Radzi said...

Arin: Sedapnya ayat itu :)

Pet: Tried searching for it on podcast tapi tak jumpapun Evening Edition. Nanti try cari on BFM sitelah.

Umi Salsabila: Thanks. Tak ada apapun :)

Nadmin: Teringin nak tahu pendapat suami Marina Mahathir tentant OWC.

Moose: Kan? Nampak sangatlah; tujuan bagus, cara kelakar.

pet said...

the video link from BFM FB for your viewing:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4OAJy_AdNG8&feature=player_embedded#at=15