“When a man opens the car door for his wife,
it's either a new car or a new wife.” - Prince Philip

Today, via Twitter, I did my Hanis Zalika-inspired news sharing and one of the news I shared was of the Indian man in Kolkata, who has the largest family in the world, of 39 wives, 94 children and 33 grandchildren. Respect! I’m gonna refer to him as just Pakcik after this. So yes, Ya Tuhan, 39 isteri! Ini mengalahkan emperor dinasti Ming! Adakah dia mampu ingat nama semua orang? Kajol! Oh you’re Rani. Both of you look the same. Oh you’re cousins? No wonder. You tall one, are you Kareena or Karisma? I cannot tell the difference between you two sisters. Haaa that gorgeous hot stuff I remember, Aishwarya, come! Headache, bukankah?!


Are these women satisfied? I mean, not that ‘satisfied’ satisfied. Pakcik can always take supplements like janggut tok guru or something for that. Heee. I mean, are these women emotionally content? Macam mana Pakcik nak layan mood swings kalau 13 dari 39 orang ni PMS at the same time? Lantakkan sajalah? Kalau 7 dari 39 pregnant? Macam mana nak layan cravings? Kajol mengidam goreng pisang, Aishwarya nak aiskrim coklat, Karisma minta Pakcik urut kaki. Headache! Pakcik ingat tak birthdays and anniversaries? And do they all live together? Under the same roof? If not, does Kareena only get to see her husband selang 38 hari? What if all 39 of them want the latest Longchamp from the Kate Moss collection? Headache!

Ask my husband. He’d surely say, SEORANGPUN AKU SAKIT KEPALA. Haip!

And I’m pretty sure Pakcik couldn’t possibly remember his children’s names. And how does he support all of them? All 94 of them?! I have only 1 child and he costs me more than my own expenses per month. By choice of course, anak asyik dapat baju baru while Mama pakai baju pudar warna. Hahaha. That aside, yeah, 94 children?! Arnab ke apa?

Tapi aku meletak dan membandingkan hidup Pakcik dengan situasi keluarga yang aku anggap ideal. Mungkin ideal bagi Sri Devi ialah ada 38 madu, boleh jadi kawan bergosip dan bertumbuk. Mungkin ideal bagi Rajnikhant, ada adik beradik seramai 93 orang, senang nak tiru jawapan kerja sekolah, senang nak main galah panjang, senang nak lawan gangster kampung. Mungkin ideal bagi Rani, tak kisahlah, asalkan ada suami, tak akan dicemuh dan diganggu masyarakat, tak kisahlah kalau dia dah ada 38 isteri dan sudah tua 89 tahun. Ideal kita kan berlainan.

Yang pasti, aku ada perasaan nak pergi Kolkata berkenalan dengan Pakcik. But no, Hubby, you don’t get to berguru dengan Pakcik, walaupun Rozita Che Wan sunyi T____T

UPDATED!


[Oh my God oh my God oh my God! Here's the LINK to the pictures of Pakcik and his huge family & their dorms. Yes dorms! Super damn cool lah]