Tuesday, February 01, 2011

"A nation is a society united by a delusion about its ancestry and by common hatred of its neighbours." - William R. Inge


Is it February already? When did January pass me by? Subhanallah, time flies really fast nowadays. But alhamdulillah for an awesome January. Nothing exciting about my first 31 days of 2011 but compared to keadaan mangsa banjir, kesedihan ibu-ibu yang kehilangan anak akibat kecuaian pengasuh, nasib rakyat Mesir/Tunisia/Filipina, I have to say that I had a fairly good start to 2011, alhamdulillah. Although it wouldn’t hurt if the Firm gives me a raise, on par with current market salary and stop enforcing nonsensical rules. Haish.

Tengah bersyukur tiba-tiba nak merungut. Biasalah. Manusia cetek iman.

Wanted to update on our recent trip to the Universal Studios but haven’t had the chance to transfer all the pictures. So I’m gonna complaint about our Singaporean tourist guide instead. Best kan? Instead of a cheerful travelogue entry, you get a cynic one. Yeay! Hahaha.

She is the kind of makcik you see lingering around in Singgah Selalu - bertudung with simple blouse and slack, speaks good English and Malay with Temasek slang – harmless, basically. Then one day she woke up and think, “How dare Malaysian mantan PM said that about Singaporean Malays?! Today I have a group of Malaysian tourists to guide and I’m gonna basuh them cukup-cukup about how great our country is and how successful Singaporean Malays are. You wait!”

So she did just that. She hopped on our bus and boasted all day long. Instead of giving us a tour and showing us her beautiful, developed country, 85% of the time, she got defensive about the people’s conditions there and boasted about how her country is the best in everything in Asia. The first to do this. The first to build that. The first to win this. The first to lead that. Pffftt.

That is how she got her nickname: Makcik First.

We get it, Makcik First! We get it! Walaupun your government spent almost SGD6M to build the Esplanade, it is OK sebab semua rakyat sudah ada rumah, so it is OK to overspend. We get that 100% of your youths are educated for at least 10 years and are all IT-savvy that jobs like bus conductor and penyapu sampah are beneath them. We get that your toilets tak ada paip air sebab tak nak lantai licin. And that allegedly, nobody do drugs in Singapore. And that it is OK for your government to charge fairly high if you wanna own a car there, because your public transports are superb. Yes we get it Makcik, that you are proud that Singapore is a secular country. And yes, we know you are proud of your huge casino because we can definitely hear when you shouted dengan gembira, “Ya inilah kasino kita!”

I personally have nothing against Singapore. I sincerely think that Singapore is a great country. Modern and well-developed, with awesome architectures and disciplined people and yes, very clean indeed. But when that Makcik got very political ketika sepatutnya jadi tourist guide, memang satu bas panas telinga. Nasib baik semua orang jaga tatatertib dan tak kick her out of the bus, although the husbands (Wahida’s and mine) almost wanted to start a debate with the Makcik. But they decided to let her go. Biarkanlah si luncai dengan labu dia.

For instance, I like your Pua Chu Kang!

I have friends and relatives in Singapore so please understand, I’m not bashing Singaporeans or their awesome country here. This is utterly against the Makcik First and the Makcik alone.

So yes, Makcik First, kami akui, toilets in Malaysia memang mostly berair dan busuk, we have high crime rates, masih ramai pengemis dan homeless people, dan masih ada rakyat kami yang mahu jadi cleaner and bus conductor. Puas hati?! Oh but please don’t pretend that your Malay is not good because English is your first language and do apologize for treating us macam tak faham Bahasa Inggeris. “Eh apa ya kamu panggil ini? Jambatan lelayang, betul tak? Maafkan saya kalau salah. Mengerti, tidak?” Pfftt. Jambatan lelayang konon.

We freaking know what a flyover is, woman!

26 comments:

reena said...

I love Phua Chu Kang too!

Ok jambatan lelayang tak boleh blah.

tina said...

jambatan lelayang? makcik tak lawak langsung la!!
tapi saya suka old chang kee..hee

Anonymous said...

ohhh u guys shud have just kick out Makcik First itu! hehehee

panas seh telinga...





~coffeeaddicts~

Marliza Radzi said...

Reena: Memang tak boleh blah.

Tina: Best eh Old Chang Kee? Belum pernah cuba.

Aida: Itulah pasal. Nasib baik dia makcik makcik. Kalau lelaki muda, memang kena dah kot.

{f a r a h} said...

That's why sporean were known as kiasu...

Even my cousin who is a guy married to a Chinese sporean kena ctrl ok...it should be d other way around...

Marliza Radzi said...

Farah: Not all of them, I think. But this Makcik is. Heh.

AyinEmran said...

Ada gambar makcik tu? Haha.

Eh kau tak pernah try Old Chang Kee? Aku mcm pernah tulis dlm blog. Sedap! Alaaa teringat dan nak! (the fact that I'm so hungry right now is so not helping)

Rin said...

eeiii.. mencemar keseronokan orang lah makcik tu.harap korg tak bagi tips pd hari kejadian..

btw, mesir dgn egypt kan negara yg sama?

and then, makcik itu cakap ttg mantan PM or bekas PM..?

Marliza Radzi said...

Ayin: Tak sudi nak ambil gambar dia. Haha. Mungkin Wahida ada?

Arin: Sorry I meant to write either Mesir or Egypt with Filipina tapi tertulis 2-2 instead.

Makcik tu tak cakappun pasal mantan tu. Aku saja je berimaginasi. And isn't mantan = bekas?

FrH said...

biadap gile makcik tu, purak-purak translatekan sampai jadik jambatan lelayang .. siot btol!
emo btol kamu dgn makcik first ye .. hihihi ;)

dodah said...

Hahahahahahaha. Macam mana agaknya anak-anak makcik yer?

Marliza Radzi said...

FrH: Satu bas jadi emo! Haha.

Dod: Anak-anak dia mesti hebat! *roll eyes*

HW said...

Beb, tak teringin pun nak amik gambar Makcik tu sebab tanak abadikan dalam kenangan. Kah kah! :P

We really had a great company for the whole trip tapi masuk je Makcik tu terus spoiled. Nasib Abang Murad & Abang Nash ada. Pecah perut! Hihi!

-Wahida-

Sue said...

haha jambatan lelayang..euwwww..makcik makcik..ish2

Marliza Radzi said...

Wahida: Abang Murad's stand up comedy against Makcik First memang terbaik!

Sue: Memang ish ish ish.

mrsdjones said...

Omg, terus menyampah dgn Makcik First! Kesian sbb trip ke Singapore spoiled by her. :) Look at the bright side, Malay people in Singapore live happily and sayang negara. Malay in Malaysia? Ehem, byk merungut tp kurang tindakan nak majukan negara.

Now I know what is flyover in Malay language! Thanks makcik first! hehe

missbehave said...

omg, seriesly laa beb ..whts wth all the singahhhporeans nihh kann....????
gilerrrr kuat kutuk org...even i came across one while waiting for a bus in sentosa island ...this sg guy who's a chef ..i think its shangri-la sentosa trying to make small talk (yeahh i travel alone to sg tht time)...along the conversation he realized tht i'm not a singaporean..ntahh apa yg sgt singapore nyerr i kan ..yg die bole mistaken me for one! tetibe die terus cakap ' ehh KL tuh kotor kann' damnnn laa terus aku nak hangenn waktu tuhh, tapi sgporean nih i anggap jekkk bosan kann tkde keje kutuk org ..i just brush him off ckp singapore nihh terlalu kecik laa nak banding ngn mesia yg besar tuh, dlm map dunia pon sg pon just like a tiny dot okeyyy !! bukan seme org Gov bole kontrol ...
terus tkde mood nak dtg singapore lagik even Universal studio tuh seakan2 memanggil ku ke sana ;p

Marliza Radzi said...

I know right! Tak perlulah kutuk kan? Macam defensive semacam.

shueyshoelove said...

haha. jambatan lelayang. ye dia adalah luncai. ignore sahaja org macam itu. ahahah. seriously, jambatan lelayang?

chika said...

Masa saya pergi Umrah (2004), satu hotel dengan ramai mereka. Pada satu pagi sebaik saja turun dari lift,

'Adik, tepi sikit' cakap saya pada seorang budak kecil.

Dia buat tak tahu.

Emak dia pon muncul.

'Sorry, anak-anak di Singapore tak cakap Bahasa melayu. Tak macam di Malaysia, Melayu ramai tak tahu english ye?,' kata emak budak tersebut.

Oh tetiba sungguh.
Haruskah saya tetiba pelempang muka dia?

Sorry to say, tak gemar! Dan tidak hingin pon ke tempat mereka (pernah sekali saja)

Lin Ghazale said...

Makcik First ni, silap2 dgn other Malaysian tourists memang nahas kot. Hehehe.

Marliza Radzi said...

Shuey: Seriously. Hehe.

Chika: Eh eh. Eh eh. Mengadanya!!!

Lin: Itulah. Tapi maybe semua orang in holiday mood, malas nak rosakkan hari. Hehehe.

nor'aini said...

o dear m so skeptikal dgn singaporean. n the story here mnbh lg skeptikal in me. tp m going there in mac...grrrr

Marliza Radzi said...

Bukan semua Singaporeans begitu. And it is a fun city to go to. Enjoy yourself in March ;D

Ahsuez said...

Should avoid Makcik First.

Should get some Pakcik Cool then. Where to find pulak, lah kan? Hahaha..

madame blossom said...

hahaha! jembatang lelayang?! Oh maaan!.. I'm so sorry AM, that you have to meet this Makcik First to be your tour guide. Of course don't have all her facts. No lah.. not 100% Singaporeans have houses - price of houses have become ridiculously high.. all young Singaporean will probably spend their lifetime paying off for the house. and no one does drugs here? are you kidding me? We have our own problems lah.. every country has it's own problems.

We, the commoners, need to learn that we need to stay clear of the leader's high profile arguments with each other. Tak boleh layan sangat.

Anyhow, I'm happy you enjoy your Singapore visits. Please don't think all Malay Singaporeans are like that. :( I assure you.. but unfortunately, they are the loud ones.