To avoid sickness eat less. To prolong life worry less.

I’m all for alternative medication and what not. Perubatan herba, homeopathy, penggunaan ayat-ayat suci Al-Quran; all these are fine with me. Tapi bomoh, oh tidak, tidak. Bomoh tarik duit, kaya tak? Tak, kan? Bomoh pergi hospital tak kalau kena heart attack? Mesti pergi, kan?

Strangely enough, my FIL, a science man that he is (he used to study Engineering in Germany), believes in bomoh. And the Husband, a good son that he is, malas mahu bertekak lalu terpaksa ikutkan saja.

I once followed him with the FIL and the MIL to one bomoh in Simpang Renggam; he claimed that he has the ability menukar jantung secara ghaib. The Husband even recorded the procedure. Yeah, it looked like he was operating on the FIL, with invisible knife and invisible helper. Seriously scary. But funny too, I almost rolled my eyes. The worse part was, the Bomoh’s house was damn filthy and the Bomoh and his family were all selekeh. Yikes. One thing tentang saya ialah saya distrust manusia kotor.

But yeah, the Bomoh did heal the FIL’s diabetic ulcer, with some herbal medication. But as for menukar jantung? That’s BS, if you know what I mean. Few months after the so-called-surgery, last week, the FIL had another heart attack, albeit the new jantung. Memang bohong.

After almost a week at the hospital, the FIL wanted to go see another bomoh in Machap, apparently recommended by a lot of people. My MIL cakap, “Bukannya kena sampuk. Sakit jantung duduklah hospital. Kalau kena sampuk, barulah jumpa bomoh.” Tapi kesian juga, saya faham, kadang-kadang desperate time calls for desperate measures. Lalu last Saturday, we went to Machap, albeit reluctantly. Ngeee.

This Bomoh, adalah muda dan sangat seperti manusia biasa. During his break, he had his meal at the gerai tempat kami menunggu sambil minum, dan saya curi-curi dengar dia berbual. He’s just an ordinary guy who liked his Nasi Goreng and couldn’t wait to watch Transformers. I was expecting a wise old man with janggut and ketayap. Huhu. Oh and the Bomoh, he calls himself Doctor, mind you. Talk about perasan bagus. His ‘clinic’ was packed and we had to wait for hours! The Husband went inside and saw the Bomoh performed one ‘heart surgery’ and he said he almost let out a loud laugh.

But yeah, like I said before, desperate time calls for desperate measures. Sometimes people are so sick of western medications, sick of having to stay at the hospital, sick of having to pay thousands for medications and sick of waiting to heal. Dan bomoh, mereka janjikan perubatan murah dan cepat.

Oh please don’t get me wrong, saya percaya dengan ubat-ubatan tradisional. Saya percaya Allah jadikan macam-macam ubat dalam bentuk herba dan sebagainya. Saya juga percaya dalam kuasa ayat-ayat Al-Quran dalam menyembuhkan penyakit, terutamanya penyakit-penyakit halus yang tak tercapai dek perubatan moden. Saya percaya itu semua. Yang paling saya percaya, usaha dan tawakal adalah wajib dan selanjutnya adalah terserah kepada takdir Allah.

Tapi kalau saya sakit, tolonglah jangan bawa pergi jumpa bomoh perasan doktor itu. Bring me to a real doctor, please?