“My mother groaned, my father wept, into the dangerous world I leapt.” ― William Blake 

Noah and I, we clicked the first time we saw each other. He, of course looked a bit dazed as to whom I am and why am I shoving my you-know-what to his mouth, teaching him to latch on it. But me, I fell instantly in love. I mean, I have loved him from the moment I knew I was carrying him in me, but the first time I held him in my arms, I fell in love. Head over heel. Told ya, a mother’s love knows no limit, has no capacity. 

Anyways, the birth story. Alhamdulillah, this time around, shorter labour, easier delivery. I told my doctor that I was determine to try for vaginal birth for this baby, which would make it a Vaginal Birth After Caesarean (VBAC), which naturally, comes with more risks. 

Two days before Noah was born, I was admitted for heavy blood show. Pad-soaking heavy, it was quite worrying. So they attached me to the CTG machine for almost the whole night to monitor the baby and did vaginal scan the next morning but everything seemed normal and there was no other labour symptom just yet. Blood show, Braxton Hicks, 1 cm opening but nothing else. They sent me home and I went on a date with the husband the whole day. 

October 18th, at night, I was starting to feel more sharp contractions, lebih sakit dan lebih kerap, and by midnight, rasa dah sakit sangat. My firstborn Hadi was already asleep so we angkut him and sent him off to his Tok’s, not without some drama of course, sebab dia terjaga and wanted to sleep with me. Berjaya lepaskan diri at around 1 a.m. and they immediately admitted me and called my doctor. 

Starting from around 2-3 a.m., the contraction semakin sakit but baru buka 3 cm! 3 cm! Rasa nak meraung when they told me that. Still a long way to go, man. There was no single room that night so I had to share with 4 other heavily pregnant mommies in distress, macam berlawan-lawan mengerang. Sometimes I would remember to change position, berzikir, do the labour breathing and what not, but other times I would just join in the mengerang session (which as we know, was so not helping with the pain sebenarnya!) 

After Subuh, the nurse told the husband that my bukaan was only at around 4 cm and they estimated paling cepat akan beranak petang, so husband went home to mandi etc. By then I was already in so much pain I was determined that I wanted epidural. They asked me to wait for the doctor. The doctor came at around 8 and I was so ready with my script nak request epidural but they checked and I was already fully dilated! How did I go from 4 cm to being fully dilated in only an hour, I do not know! 

So they immediately wheeled me to the labour room, while one of the nurses frantically called the husband and the others telling me to try to push. Tapi sebenarnya takyah suruh sebab masa tu all I want to do is nothing but push, push, push! They coached me and cheered on me and honestly, the delivery process was so quick I can barely recall what happened. Pushed a few times lalu dengarlah tangisan Noah bergempita. I thank God for making the delivery bit quite easy, phewww. Husband arrived 10 minutes after I have given birth, with Hadi and his Tok. 

One day old Noah Rashad. Mad love.

 

I wish I came up with a post-delivery plan for the doctor though; would have loved to have the baby placed on me immediately after he was born, he must have felt really scared without his mommy! He was only sent to my room an hour after that and I was told that they have fed him with formula. Apparently it’s the paed’s practice. Pfftt. One of the nurses even “advised” me that newborn need formula milk, to make sure cukup sihat, kenyang and to minimize jaundice risk. Say what?! I was feeling so much love and gratitude ketika itu so I just held back and said nothing much. So yeah, mental note, next baby, tell them: immediate mommy-baby body contact, and no formula please! 

Noah is 47 days young today and Alhamdulillah, he has been a very easy, fuss free baby from the start. He almost always seems contented, only merengek sikit when he wants milk or diaper change, and wakes up at night only for feeding. MasyaAllah, what have I done to deserve this blessing, I do not know; not a day passed without me thanking Him for Noah, the easy baby that he is (setakat ini! Hehe) 

One thing for sure, Noah certainly lives up to the meaning of his name; my darling peaceful baby :)