A: 'Cause you're fatter than they are.
One of the most memorable well wishes I have gotten from friends and families since I got pregnant has got to be from brand-new-mummy, Asni. She told me to just enjoy my pregnancy sebab “Allah kan ada.” So true, kan? :) Kita hanya boleh berusaha untuk jaga diri dan kandungan sebaik mungkin dan seterusnya perlulah bergantung pada Dia.
And while you’re at that, remember to enjoy the 9 months of thrill and fun. And I definitely enjoy this Funny Pregnancy Do’s and Don’ts by Lisa Russell. Sangat comel OK!
How to Announce Your Pregnancy: Do call family and friends to invite them over for the good news. Don't post a picture of your urine stick on your Facebook status.
Kah kah. It’s always funny when you see pictures of DIY pregnancy sticks, mostly posted on Facebook and blogs. I personally think it is kinda yucky to parade my stick to the world but hey, it’s called freedom of expression, people! If you think it’s cool, tak apalah, buat sajalah. Heheh.
How to Exercise During Pregnancy: Do enjoy gentle activities like swimming and prenatal yoga, with the counsel of your caregiver. Don't take up skydiving, cave diving or bull riding.
The only time I exercise ialah ketika berlari ke sana-sini di Mahkamah dan berjalan-jalan di shopping malls. So yeah, skydiving is definitely not in my book. Hahaha.
26 weeks pregnant; happily bulat and healthy :)
How to Plan for Delivery: Do take a childbirth preparation course and write up a birth plan. Don't get stoned on the way to the hospital.
I don’t even know nak bersalin di mana! Reading Anayasmin’s experience of giving birth in Australia buat saya rasa teringin mahu dapatkan that kind of treatment tapi tak mungkinlah ada di Malaysia ini, except maybe in PCMC. And PCMC, my friend, is out of our budget. Ngeh. Kalaulah saya kerja dengan big companies like PETRONAS and what not, kan? Huhu. OK I still have another 3 months untuk berfikir and decide. Jadi, kawan-kawan and readers who have had experience of giving birth in JB (yes I plan to bersalin here and later go back to KL for pantang), please give me some input, will you? Thank you!
How to Include the Baby's Father in the Pregnancy: Do invite him to the ultrasound and fill him in on details of baby's growth, your crazy hormonal dreams and funky food cravings. Don't make him wear one of those empathy bellies or beat him in his sleep, just so he knows how it feels.
Kah kah beat him in his sleep. Good one. Lisa Russell is so damn funny. My man occasionally accompany me to my antenatal visit tapi taklah setiap kali sebab I usually schedule my visits on weekday mornings. Tapi bila sekali-sekala yang dia ikut, memang rasa sangat the difference, you know, to be sharing the joy and what not. Priceless lah. But no, I will not beat him in his sleep. Unless maybe if he snores excruciatingly loud. Kah kah. Tak, tak, dosa.
How to Stay Hydrated During Pregnancy: Do drink a sensible amount of water, milk and juices. Don't wear the baseball cap with the built-in beer cans.
Beer does not count, ya tuan-tuan dan puan-puan. Ngeh.
How to Announce the Baby's Birth: Do call or email your friends and family over the next few days, sharing the baby's vital statistics and listening to more unsolicited advice. Don't send everyone in your cellphone address book a copy of baby's first picture--emerging from the birth canal.
Kah kah kah kah kah kah. Imagine receiving MMS of baby emerging out of your friend! “Hey friends, that’s Abdul emerging out of my va-ge-ge. He’s adorable beyond words! Oh and yeah, there’s a peek of my va-ge-ge” Note to self: Don’t.
So take note, fellow mummy-to-be(s): Do go ahead and post pictures of urine stick if you think it’s cute to do so. Do not take up skydiving! Do make plan for delivery. Do include your husband in the highs of lows of pregnancy. Do make sure to stay hydrated. And do not announce the baby’s arrival in the yuckiest way one could imagine. Ngeee. Have a good day, all!