“Lucky parents who have fine children usually have lucky children who have fine parents.” - James A. Brewer

If you follow me on Twitter, you probably know about the scene I saw in court this morning. For those who don’t, here’s what happened: A 7 (or 8 year) old boy tried to get the hand phone his dad was holding and after sesi tarik menarik (secara bising ya), his dad refused to give in and kept his phone. And guess what happened? The boy shouted “Kurang ajar!” to his dad. Man, was I shocked! Everyone there was stunned!

His dad, probably malu and all, carried him away sambil cubit tapi that boy, sambil menangis-nangis, pukul kepala his dad. The dad then put him down, walked away and shouted, “Papa bagitahu Mama!” Barulah dia kejar and peluk kaki his dad. I heard the man beside me asking his wife, “Kenapa jadi macam tu? Kenapa boleh jadi nakal sangat?”

I tried not to judge. I pitied the father, really I do. I mean, I would have been very embarrassed if that was my boy, knowing that people around me would surely judge. I have a boy myself and everyday I pray that he’ll grow up jadi budak soleh and well mannered and segala sifat mahmudahlah, but I don’t know what will happen. I try my best to be a good mom but maybe the boy’s mom did everything right too. We don't know.

Although there is no one set of parenting rules yang sesuai untuk every kids, I think reading about parenting and what not helps a lot. Like how I learned to distract my baby when he starts to show tantrum; by showing him things he likes, like birds in the sky, a pretty kakak walking by, a cat or any binatang for that matters, YouTube videos, giving him fruits. It works 85% of the time! But there are times when I’m tired and tantrum-y myself (haha!) I retaliate by marah ke jadi tarzan ke, and I notice that that’ll only make things worse.

The key to Positive Parenting: Keep Calm! Tsskk, easier said than done!

Although Time Out usually works for toddlers aged 3 and above, my version of Time Out seems to work on Hadi. If dia tak dengar cakap after many times I tell him not to do something, I’ll put him alone in a room for about 30 seconds. Lalu he’ll menangis dan insaf. But this won’t work kalau ada orang lain yang simpati ya. Guaranteed failure!

Jadi mak, hati kena tegar, kan? I love my baby wholeheartedly and it breaks my heart to see he cries kalau tak dapat something ke, kena marah ke, but I gotta be strong, I’m molding a human being! Amanah dari Allah! Always have to remind myself of Positive Parenting: Be warm and nurturing but strict! Set high expectation but meet your child every needs! Listen to your child but set clear limits and boundaries!

Itu sebab masa kecil-kecil kita takut dengan mak, kan? Sebab mak memang strict. I don’t know about yours but mine was. Ya Allah, takutnya kalau ada buat salah/ dapat result teruk/ malas solat dan segala sifat mazmumahlah. But as I grew older, my mom became my best friend, whom I confide in, talk to and share interests with. Reminds me of the Mean Moms poem shared by @IslamicThinking on Twitter this morning. You can find the link HERE.

Isn’t it scary, the amanah we parents are given with? Semoga Allah permudahkan kita semua!

Dear baby boy, promise me you’ll grow up to be awesome, will you?