“It was the tiniest thing I ever decided to put my whole life into.” - Terri Guillemets

(This is a quick one, before I take my break for Asar prayer and Projek Lembu and resume my never-ending work) You know the saying that when you’re a mother, you’re never really alone in your thought bla bla bla. It really is true! Hadi is almost always in my mind. “Should I eat this peanut? Will it cause him rashes?” “What is Hadi doing?” “Is he sleeping right?” “I miss him. I wanna gomol him.” “Did he like the pear puree I prepared?” "When should I take him for his jab?" “Is he troubling his Tok?” “Should I get him these rompers?” “Oh I’m so tired today, I hope I will be larat enough to play with him when I get home.” “Is his nose still blocked?” “Is my EBM enough for him today?” “Does he miss me?” Well, you get what I mean.

One major thing to be grateful about today: My parents are here! (Dad has a work thingy here) My mom is babysitting my baby these couple of days, so yeah, you might have guessed, she is currently the happiest granny in the world. “What’s Hadi doing?” “Is he behaving well?” “Has Ibu fed him?” “Is he wearing his new romper?” As I promised, this is a quick one hence a very short one. Hey, don’t you just love how cute my mom and my baby look in this picture?

LOVE LOVE LOVE :’)

“Women hold up half the sky”

Due to time constraint, with work and house chores and a baby and trying to be the best at everything that I am – wife, mom, daughter, daughter-in-law, friend, lawyer (phew!), I rarely have time to read nowadays. But when I manage to find myself some time in between - while waiting for the Court/meeting to start, during nighttime milk pumping, on weekends while the baby sleeps – I make sure I read something that will be worth my time. I’m currently reading Half the Sky; How to Change the World and it is definitely worth it!!! The book derives its name from a Chinese proverb, “Women hold up half the sky” and is mainly about sufferings, poverty, discrimination, oppression and hardship of women all around the world.

I’m not gonna write a book review as I’m not gonna butcher a book this good by giving it an unworthy review. But I just have to say that I did sujud syukur after reading a few chapters of this book, thanking Allah for the life He bestowed upon me. Because I live in this tiny world of mine, with great family and good life, I tend to forget that there is a bigger world out there.

Where people face poverty everyday, not able to provide for, or even feed their children. Where poverty leads women to take the extreme measure; selling sex for money, which later caused most of them being ousted by the society, got addicted to drugs and worst, affected by AIDS.

The bigger world where women are discriminated upon – baby girls murdered and young girls left unfed while the boys are all well nourished. And have you heard about Gendercide? It’s a term for the daily slaughter of girls in the developing world. And just so you know, it has taken more lives in any given decade than all the genocides of the 20th century. And here I thought these things only happened back in jahilliyah days.

The world where women are worth not more than mere sex objects and slaves. The world where girls are not allowed to get education and seek good jobs. Well, basically, the bigger world where women are treated as worthless, second-class human being. Nauzubillah.

It is worth mentioning that the first chapter begins with a story of a Cambodian woman who went to Thailand to seek for better life but was sold to a brothel in Malaysia (we’re famous!) where she was drugged, locked up and forced into prostitution. Oh the story gets better. The woman and some of her friends managed escape but were later imprisoned under our Malaysian Anti-Immigrant law for about a year when she was released but only to be sold by the police to another brothel in Thailand. To that I say, Malaysia Boleh!!! Not!

I have yet to finish even half of the book (blame my limited me-time!) but I must say that with every chapter that I have managed to read, I was incredibly enlightened and moved. I sympathize with the hardship of the women I read and at the same time I am enormously thankful to Allah for this simple, pleasant life I lead. Go grab a copy of the book and I challenge you not to be moved and inspired by it, because I sure was. Shukran Ya Allah :')

WORDLESS WEDNESDAY #4


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"Kenangan ialah suatu cara kita berpaut pada sesuatu yang kita kasihi, sesuatu yang sebahagian dari diri, sesuatu yang tak mungkin ingin kita hilang selamanya.”
– Diterjemahkan, dari siri The Wonder Years.

Tadi saya berkicau tentang betapa kepinginnya untuk ke pusat-pusat mengirai wang di ibu kota sana. Ikea, The Curve, KLCC, Sunway Pyramid. Sebenarnya sebab saya sudah jelak dengan pusat-pusat mengirai wang di sini. Saya sudah hafal kedai apa di mana dan apa yang ada. Apatahlagi jika ditanya tentang Plaza Pelangi dan Metrojaya di sebelah pejabat saya ini. Ya, Puan mahu cari apa? Kedai Poney? Tingkat 4 ya. Kedai kek Season? Tingkat 1 bersebelahan Sony Centre. Apa? Metrojaya bahagian rumah? Tingkat 4 bersebelahan bahagian kanak-kanak. Mahu cari Toy City, Puan? Di sini dah tutup, di City Square ada. Sekian.

Ia juga kerana suami akan ke Kuala Lumpur dan kerana kekangan kerja, saya tentunya ditinggal-tinggal di bumi Selatan ini. Lalu saya merasa cemburu. Dia tentu dapat menjenguk KLCC jika berkelapangan. Dapat makan sup Dhorai. Dapat ke Ikea membeli kerusi tinggi untuk si kenit (oh ini belum dipesan!) Dapat menghirup udara kotor ibu kota yang saya rindui. Tempoh hari saya ada ke Kuala Lumpur seharian untuk mesyuarat, tapi dek kekangan waktu, hanya sempat mencuci mata di Sogo, setengah jam saja mungkin. Tapi udara kotor Kuala Lumpur sempat dihirup dan Kekanda Noor yang dirindui sempat dijenguk. Syukur untuk itu.

Apa ya tujuan asal penulisan ini? Oh ya, kicauan saya itu dibalas oleh Kindred Spirit saya (yang baru mula berkicau hari ini). Katanya mahu ikut, mahu jalan-jalan seperti zaman universiti dahulu. Ya seperti kami yang dahulu. Kami yang seperti belangkas ke sana ke mari bersama. Kami yang bukan isteri orang, bukan emak orang, bukan kuli orang. Kami yang tanpa liabiliti, tanpa wang; kami yang kanak-kanak riang. Oh sungguh rindu.

Lepas kelas, berjalan-jalan tonton wayang (dan orang); kadang-kadang kami beli pretzel dan duduk di kerusi dalam mall; tonton (dan gelakkan) orang. Ada permainan bertajuk 'Semakin Dekat' yang kami cipta. Iaitu kami gelakkan jika dari jauh kacak, tapi bila semakin dekat, semakin kurang kacak. Permainan bodoh. Tapi kami boleh gelak berdekah-dekah di situ. Kejam.

Tonton wayang selepas exam itu wajib. Saya ingat lagi, saya, Kindred Spirit dan Naem (tak ingat sama ada orang lain ada sama. Dod?) tonton Jutawan Fakir selepas exam yang masyaAllah sukarnya. Hilang stres satu badan. Kelakarlah Jutawan Fakir. Kerja terbaik Apek kot.

Kami dan kawan-kawan lain, selalunya seperti Naem dan Dod, berpusing-pusing dalam kedai kasut, cuba semua kasut dan keluar dengan tangan kosong. Selalunya pulang dari mall setelah berjam-jam cuci mata, akhirnya beli Cleo saja. Tanpa wang, kan?

Kemudian kami suka reward diri dengan Sushi King. Tapi sebab tanpa wang yang banyak, kami selalu makan yang murah-murah saja untuk kenyang, dan kongsi satu prawn tempura sebagai reward diri. Kasihan kami. Tidak, kami tak lepak kedai kopi mahal masa belajar. Sedar diri dibiaya JPA bukan Petronas (Baca: Biayaan kecil). Tetap seronok!

Paling gembira bila ada hari jadi kawan-kawan. Berusaha dengan tekad untuk membuat kejutan. Padahal semua dalam geng dah tahu pasti akan ada sambutan. Kadang-kadang kita buat-buat terkejutlah bila masuk Pizza Hut dan nampak kawan-kawan menjerit “Surprise!” dengan kek atas meja dan membaling-baling confetti, sebab kasihan akan usaha kawan-kawan menipu dan merancang. Sayang kamu semua sampai bila-bila. Sungguh.

RINDU KAMU SEMUA. SUNGGUH :')

Aaah kenangan itu. Yang indah memang indah. Yang tak indahpun banyaklah. Semua itu jadikan siapa diri kita pada hari ini. Jadi kita kumpul semua kenangan, simpan rapat-rapat dalam hati; buangkan dari ingatan semua yang tak indah, senyum dan bersyukur bila terbangkit yang membahagiakan. Kemudian kembali ke zaman sekarang, mengadaplah fail berbukit-bukit dan teruskan mengarang Penyata Saksi untuk Bicara Penuh minggu hadapan. Hah!

Terima kasih kenangan, untuk beberapa minit imbasan masa silam yang membahagiakan.

"Ignorant people think it is the noise which fighting cats make that is so aggravating, but it ain't so; it is the sickening grammar that they use." - Mark Twain

I want to get away somewhere. It doesn’t matter where, as long as it involves a little travelling, staying in a nice hotel, (window) shopping, sight-seeing and going outside of Johor freaking Bahru. I mean, I adore JB, it’s practically my home now, but you gotta get out sometime!

On that note, I really want to go to Singapore! It’s been too long. But Hadi has got no passport yet and I don’t wanna go without him. But Singapore is just sekangkang kera away and the last I went there, I was, what, 7, 8 months pregnant? And Hadi is already 6 months now. Do the maths.

Have you heard about the Fish Eye and Macro/Wide lenses for iPhone? Developed by Digital King from Japan, the lenses are designed to enhance the iPhone camera. Such coolness. Japanese people are geniuses, don’t you think so? As if it is not enough that they’re freakishly cute and eerily polite, they have to get the genius genes as well. Unfair.

I’m going totally random this time because, yes you guessed it, I have nothing interesting to write about. I’m a boring person. Yes the usage of the word “boring” was correct there. “I’m a boring person” is “Saya membosankan" while “I’m bored” is “Saya bosan”. How some people got these two confused amazes me all the time.

And what’s with “That’s mean” and “That means” confusion? I’m no grammar guru, heck my English is nowhere close to good, but to confuse between “Itu jahat” dengan “Itu bermakna” is mind-boggling lah. Yes, the placing of your S is very crucial there.

More on grammar (oh sue me), DIHADAPAN is wrong. It is DI HADAPAN. DI JAYA JUSCO. DI BAWAH. DI PARIS. And DI FAHAMI is wrong. It is DIFAHAMI. DIKETAHUI. DISAYANGI. Are they still teaching this to the kids in school nowadays? I hope they are. Good Malay grammar is important. Bahasa Jiwa Bangsa (why is this entry in English?)

Who in the world came up with the idea to sell expensive plastic containers (read: Tupperware) and managed to scheme (OK not scheme, convince) people into buying them. I saw the mini steamer on the Tupperware catalogue and thought to myself, “Well this is neat. Do I need it? No. I have a steamer. Do I want it? Of course.” Took a post it note, wrote my name, and pasted it on the catalogue. Smart advertising/ branding? Undoubtedly. But yes, the steamer finally found its calling. I use it to steam fruits before pureeing them for Hadi. Because it is small, it is easier to be stored and installed. Oh it only comes in bright red, so yeah, fancy.

I seem to have a fondness for the colour red nowadays. The wallet Hubby bought for me, my passport holder, my iPhone casing, the blouse I bought today; all are in red. Well the blouse is bright peach, but close enough. Am I turning into my mom? *Cue Twilight Zone soundtrack*

I know I seem so shallow and can be very duniawi sometimes (you don’t have to tell it to my face *EMO*), so to end this on a more Friday-friendly note:

I PRAISE ALLAH FOR SENDING ME YOU, MY LOVE!

WORDLESS WEDNESDAY #3

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“When I, good friends, was called to the bar,
I'd an appetite fresh and hearty,
But I was, as many young barristers are,
An impecunious party.”

- Sir W.S. Gilbert (1836-1911)

4 FREAKING YEARS! WHO WOULD’VE THOUGHT?!

As a lawyer, I will turn 4 tomorrow. I When I first started out, I gave myself only one year to be a lawyer, one year the most, simply to gain some on-field experience. But tomorrow will mark 4 years of me in legal practice. How did this happen? Ke mana masa berlalu? What possessed me to inflict upon myself such hard work and pressure? The ghost of Lord Denning perhaps?

Not an easy path, my fellow brothers and sisters would agree, I think. The liability. The long hours. The everyday stress of meeting deadlines, pleasing the Court, handling difficult clients, chasing outstanding fees, keeping up with new laws. And the job itself; the burden, responsibility and amanah. Not easy, unquestionably.

But 4 years and still on this path. It is a wonder, even to myself. Like Yatt put it, this is truly a love-hate relationship. There are days when I feel like quitting there and then, campak fail and scream “Astalavista, practicing world!” but there are days when I truly enjoy what I do. Maybe, just maybe, despite all that and more, deep deep deep down, I really like being a lawyer.

Deep deep deep deep deep down.

I HOPE YOU DANCE

Mama's baby boy, as you turned half year old,

I hope you will grow up never taking life for granted.
I hope you will never fear and always be ready to take chances.
I hope you will never lose your sense of wonder.
I hope you will always have faith in Allah.
I hope you will always believe in love.
And when you get the choice to sit it out or do something and dance,
I hope you will always choose to dance.
Always choose to dance, baby.

--------------------------------------------------------

I HOPE YOU DANCE
(Music and Lyrics by Mark D. Sanders/Tia Sillers.
Performed by Lee Ann Womack)

I hope you never lose your sense of wonder
You get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger
May you never take one single breath for granted
God forbid love ever leave you empty-handed

I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance

I hope you dance
I hope you dance

I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Living might mean taking chances but they're worth taking
Loving might be a mistake but it's worth making

Don't let some hell-bent heart leave you bitter
When you come close to selling out reconsider
Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance

I hope you dance (Time is a wheel in constant motion always)
I hope you dance (Rolling us along)
I hope you dance (Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder)
I hope you dance (Where those years have gone)

I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance

I hope you dance
I hope you dance

WORDLESS WEDNESDAY #2

"The avocado is a food without rival among the fruits,
the veritable fruit of paradise" - David Fairchild

Why is avocado the ideal first food for babies? (1) The unsaturated fats it contains are good for baby's brain development and their central nervous system. (2) Its smooth texture is perfect as well as being nutritious. (3) Avocados contain vitamins A, C, Niacin and Folate and Potassium, Phosphorus, Iron, Magnesium and Calcium (4) Smooth and creamy, avocados are easily digested and well tolerated by most babies.

How to make avocado baby food? (1) Peel and take out the pit of a ripe avocado - do not cook (2) Cut meat out and mash with a fork (there should be no need to use a machine as just like bananas, avocados have a very soft consistency and texture. Avocados do not need to be cooked) (3) Add formula/breast milk or water to thin or add cereal (if desired) to thicken up. You can also mix it with a little banana, apple sauce, stewed pears, yoghurt, fromage frais and so on. Or with cooked and minced vegetables too - squash, parsnips, broccoli, cauliflower and so on.

(Excerpts from Source 1 and Source 2) FAKTA BERGUNA TAPI MEMBOSANKAN TAMAT DI SINI.

How did I make Hadi's first avocado meal? I cut out 1/4 of the avocado meat, mashed it with a fork and added some breastmilk. Rasa lemak-lemak pahit, when combined with breastmilk, you'd get a rather pleasant taste. Janganlah compare dengan rasa butter prawn, macam langit dengan bumilah. Haha. (Unlike Hubby, I am never a fan of Jus Alpukat)

Did Hadi like his first avocado meal? Don't be fooled by his eager look on the above photo (And don't mind his half-white face either. Hehehe. That was calamine lotion I applied on his face for his ruam panas) Dia memang excited nampak apa saja benda baru, especially benda yang dia rasa adalah makanan or at least, benda yang boleh masuk mulut dia (which is everything including my magazines and the restaurant high chairs! Yikes!)

The verdict? He did not really like the mix. I think so lah sebab dia buat muka macam, "This tastes weird Ma! Can I have my nenen instead?" But he's my boy, of course he managed to finish it all! Hahaha. So the first time was a mixed reaction; maybe I should add some sweet/sour fruits like banana next time. It will definitely taste better.

Mungkin juga sebab I bought the cheapest avocado there was at the Cold Storage? (Murah tak murahpun RM2.40 sebiji juga OK!) Does the RM6 avocado taste better? I read that the darker the green, the better it tastes. But this RM2.40 one is dark enough I think. Enlighten me, people. I'm an avocado-virgin. I know nothing about this fruit, except yes, that they're good for you and your babies. And that Hubby orders Jus Alpukat everytime we're in Indonesia.

Well Mama is not giving up on avocados, little one. They're too good for you and I'm gonna make you love them someday! But hey, lets just stick to the cheaper avocado, yes? RM6 for a piece of fruit? Sorrylah Hadi, Mama's nasi campur costs lesser tau. Kalau tak suka juga avocado murah, kita beralih ke pisang emaslah ya, anak. Teehee.

WORDLESS WEDNESDAY #1

What is Wordless Wednesday?