Pernah kita jatuh mencuba berdiri
Menahan sakit dan menangis
Tapi erti hidup lebih dari itu
Dan kita mencuba melawan

Saya gemar sekali pada kata-kata Ayin, “Kebahagiaan dalam dunia kita sendiri, dalam makna sendiri”. Mr. Bean itu suatu watak yang cukup optimis. Dia mencari satu kawasan berpadang, membentangkan kain petak-petak, membawa bersamanya sebotol jus oren, sebiji kek mini, sebuah kerusi lipat dan sebuah buku cerita; untuk berkelah. Berseorangan. Tetapi dia kelihatan sungguh-sungguh gembira. Kegembiraan dia dengan cara yang begitu mudah. Kalaulah, bukankah? Tapi saya percaya ramai yang telah berjaya mencapai takuk ini; yakni bahagia. Ia bukan sukar. Tapi ia juga bukan mudah buat sesetengah. Yang penting dan pertamanya, hati wajib dibuka. Jika hati terbuka untuk meraih gembira, gembira pasti akan hadir.

Tentu, kejutan yang menggembirakan, tuah yang tidak disangka-sangka serta berita yang baik contohnya, amatlah membahagiakan. Tapi bukankah selalunya hidup ini lebih membahagiakan apabila ia seindah biasa?

Love can touch us one time and last for a lifetime
And never let go till we're gone
Love was when I loved you
One true time I hold to
In my life we'll always go on

Saya kira filem Titanic adalah satu lagenda di dalam industri perfileman kerana sambutan yang luar biasa terhadapnya. Everyone was head over heels in love with Jack, everyone was humming My Heart Will Go On and everyone dreamed of a love story as romantic. I remember watching it for the first time at Block C Common Room in STF. Almost everyone was crying during this one scene and I thought I must be heartless because I just couldn’t cry. Gua siap cuba menangis okay, sebab terasa macam pelik, tapi tidak berjaya. Gua kira sebabnya ialah gua rasa cerita itu sedikit keji kerana:

(a) Leo Di Caprio itu wajahnya terlalu bayi maka dia kelihatan seperti adik bongsu yang masih mentah yang mahu bercinta dengan kakak sulungnya;

(b) Ia terlalu hype; gua memang kurang gemar cerita yang terlalu hype;

(c) Terdapat scene mengajar meludah; sangat keji okay, gua tidak suka orang meludah merata-rata, sungguh gross;

(d) Gua tidak suka apabila Rose menyuruh Jack melukisnya “Wearing this (iaitu rantai), wearing only this”; sungguh murahan gadis aristocrat itu.

Tapi perlu gua nyatakan di sini bahawa lagu My Heart Will Go On itu memang meruntun jiwa, terutama apabila versi bersama dialog dari filem itu kerap diulang di radio Singapura itu (ketika itu Hitz.FM belum lagi popular). Apa ya nama radio kegemaran STFians itu? Help me recall! Anyone?

A highway with no one on it
Treasure just to look upon it
All the riches in the night

Discovering how acceptance can literally change the course of your life is an extremely important, empowering, and life changing step that, if initiated will literally open the flow of unlimited abundance and happiness into your day to day life experience and allow you to begin attracting those things that you most desire, rather than continuously attracting those things that you don't.

Once you have established the awareness as to how acceptance can and will change the circumstances that you perceive as negative outcomes, you will be empowered to begin to consciously attract the desirable conditions, events, and circumstances into your life and positively change the current undesirable events you are experiencing with seemingly little effort - From the article The Power Of Acceptance.

Like accepting the fact that you can have what you want from somewhere else without having to sacrifice too much. Ngeee.

Like if C*andid S*yndrome is way way way beyond your budget,
it is tear-jerking even to consider them,

[Photo Credit: S*aiful N*ang]

hire G*reen A*pple and your best friend's husband instead
for equally beautiful wedding photos.

[Photo Credit: GreenApple]

[Photo Credit: ZulMaha]


Like although a reception at the glamorous Dewan Felda Merak Kayangan and its likes would be grandeur and hassle-free,

[Photo Credit: U*dey I*smail]

having it at home would be much more personal and insyaAllah can be as beautiful. For Ibu, CT Catering is the way to go. Always.

[Photo from our engagement album]


Like instead of having C*hoffles to bake you
the gorgeous wedding cake of your dream,

[Photo Credit: C*hoffles]

you can choose to get Nijoh's talented mom to do that for you.
Go here for gorgeous selections!

[Cake by Kek Hantaran from our engagement album]


Like although customized chocolate from C*hocolate G*raphics is so cool,

[Photo Credit: C*hocolate G*raphics]

you can opt for Zura's pweety pweety cupcakes instead!

[Photo Credit: Zura]


Like although hiring someone pro like Shaja to do
your hantaran would be hassle-free,

[Photo Credit: Shaja]

you can always ask your mom to do it for you. That is, if she has the talent and the passion. Or, like Kano, you can always get someone's mom to gratefully do it for you FOC. Ngeee.

[Photo from our engagement album]

Aah the power of acceptance :) It is truly empowering.

Kau bawa diriku ke dalam hidupmu
Kau basuh diriku dengan rasa sayang
Senyummu juga sedihmu adalah hidupku
Kau sentuh cintaku dengan lembut dengan sejuta warna

You know how people say a mother is the heart of the family, the candle that lights up the life, the queen of the heart; I think it is true. And I couldn’t agree more with Oprah when she says “A happy mother leads to a happy family” (or something like that. Ngeee). My mom pretty much sets the mood for the whole family. Bila Ibu saya gembira, walau macam mana berduka sekalipun saya, saya akan terkesan dengan kegembiraannya. But when she’s stressed out or sad or worse, sick, betapa down nya saya. Contoh: Ibu was having a headache on Tuesday night, maka saya rasa begitu tidak gembira. Come Wednesday morning, she was her chirpy self again and the whole household shines. Dan ketika berkaraoke semalam, my dad sang the song Apabila Isteriku Tertawa by Suhaimi Meor Hassan which I think is quite suiting. I bet Mr. Suhaimi was having a financial crisis when he wrote this song and as the song goes, his wife came to the rescue with her merriment of joy.

Aku sering dilanda kerinduan
Pada keamanan pada kedamaian
Namun semua gelora hilang entah di mana
Apabila isteriku tertawa

Aku risau memikirkan harga rumah
Makin melambung tinggi langsung tiada batasnya
Namun segala risau terus hilang ke mana saja
Apabila isteriku tertawa

Ketawanya pendek sahaja bagaikan sengaja direka
Namun penuh bermakna lantas mengubat segala duka

Aku sering memohon pada Dia
Agar aku dan isteri sentiasa bersama
Kerna semua derita hilang entah ke mana
Apabila isteriku tertawa

I think I'm drowning, asphyxiated
I wanna break this spell that you've created

“You only have one problem in life. You worry too much. Always you get too emotional, too nervous.” I've only started reading Eat, Pray, Love: One Woman's Search for Everything and I must say that so far I am so liking it! (Oh and I’ve finished Fashion Babylon and although it is not exactly my cup of tea, it is fun and a must-read for every fashionistas. Or anybody who are obsessed with the glitz and glam of the fashion industry).

Anyways, the statement above, which I quoted from Eat, Pray, Love is by one medicine man the writer met in Indonesia. I was feeling tensed for no big reason when I read that part and thought, “Itu sangat aku, okay!” So typically me; I am a worrier. I may seem positive most of the times, because that is how I handle my anxiety; I act positive (because I believe in the power of mind, well, that’s another topic), when deep down I worry sick. Huwargh! Psychotic, okay! Tak suka!


Strangely, reading about others experiencing the same complex, extreme emotion, calmed me. “Sangat banyak lagi manusia dengan lebih banyak masalah dan kamu risau tentang perkara bodoh ini, Marliza?!” ialah antara cara menyedarkan diri sendiri lalu diri akan tenang seketika. Or quick whining to the fiancé will do too. Bencilah. Blwek.

Cahaya hatiku yakinlah kekal abadi selamanya
Seperti bintang yang sinarnya terangi
seluruh ruang di jiwa membawa kedamaian

Sesungguhnya saya amat suka lagu ini, sebuah Munajat Cinta kepada Tuhan, memohon akan kekasih yang akan menyayangi sehingga ke akhirnya. Ya, I am among many who are guilty of menyenangi sesetengah muzik Indonesia. Antaranya karya Melly Goeslow dan Dewa 19. Juga lagu-lagu kerohanian oleh Ungu dan Opick. Lagu Masih (Sahabatku Kekasihku) dari Ada Band dan Larut dari Dewa 19 contohnya, adalah lagu-lagu cinta saya dan dia, yang mungkin akan selamanya saya gemari.

Masih dalam topik Indonesia, ketika Kano hadir di rumah saya Sabtu lalu, saya menyambutnya dengan memakai tudung Indonesia. Kata Kano, saya kelihatan sungguh Indonesia. Ya, tudung itu saya dan Ibu saya gunakan ketika di sekitar kawasan rumah, ketika mahu menyidai kain atau berkebun atau menyambut tetamu contohnya.

Lantas disebabkan itu, juga kerana nama kedua saya Yanti (I go by this name di kalangan family members) dan saya memanggil ibubapa saya Ibu dan Bapak, ketika ada pekerja pembinaan di rumah saya tempoh hari, saya syak pada awalnya mereka sangkakan saya orang Indonesia. Ya tiada salahnya pun. Arwah Atuk saya adalah perantau dari Riau yang datang ke Tanah Melayu sejak kecil lalu bermastautin.

Masih dalam topik Indonesia, saya dinamakan Yanti kerana ketika Ibu mengandungkan saya, ada satu sinetron Indonesia yang mana watak utamanya bernama Yanti; sebagaimana watak utama lain, Yanti itu cantik dan mempunyai pelbagai sifat terpuji, lalu digemari Ibu, hence my name.

Ya, saya berbangga mempunyai secebis keturunan Melayu Riau terutamaya disebabkan dari Riau telah mengalir kesusasteraan Melayu dan pelbagai penerbitan agama. Tapi tidak, anda tidak perlu memanggil saya Yanti pula. Terhad penggunaannya ya. Ngeee.

Some day, when I'm awfully low, when the world is cold,
I will feel a glow just thinking of you and the way you look tonight.

When I was 5, my playground mates were an Indian duo who got their high from bullying me, I even have a picture to prove it; one of them was holding my bike preventing me from cycling away while the other was laughing. Jahat! Oh, dan aku sedang menangis ya dalam gambar itu. Classic. They grew up to be rather handsome gentlemen I must add. Weird.

Then there was this boy in primary school who’d always pick up a fight with me as though his main aim in life was to lower my self esteem by calling me Gemuk everyday. Until one day, I got my womanly figure and he suddenly started to mengorat pula. His nerve!

My point is, there will always be occasionally irritating/revolting people in our everyday life. But no one in my 25++ years of living can compare to him, the one who finally let me have the taste of what ‘pain in the a$$’ truly means. Pardon me but he is truly a royal pain in my bloody a$$. Maybe it’s the stress. But no, I reiterate that he truly is a pain in the a$$.

Yes, irrittating colleagues/superiors are major pain!

Nasib baiklah it is easy to restore my good mood. Funny comic strips helps. And listening to one of my all time favourite song definitely does :)

Uploaded on Friday, thanks to Aniz! Scary!!!

If you go away, on this summer day
Then you might as well take the sun away

Faizal Tahir oh Faizal Tahir, what now? A strip tease?! My my. Firstly, I have to make a correction here; I am not a big fan of him, I am a big fan of his music. He is too skinny for my liking and the thick make up doesn’t work for me. Heh. Anyways, after seeing the photos, I reaffirm my point that he is too skinny, but I must say that I think that again, people are making a grand hullabaloo out of this. Bukan apa sangatpun. Jakilah korang ni tau!

Fahrin was topless in Puaka Tebing Baru (so I heard) but that was okay lah? Why? Sesuai dengan kehendak filem? And like the fiancé put it, Fahrin’s scene was premeditated, which is worse, because Faizal’s act was spontaneous in the hype of the rock star moment. Apalah bising-bising?!

You know what you should pay attention to instead, people? Little girls dancing suggestively a la gelek Inul; selalu sangat tunjuk on TV. That should be banned. Little girls should jump around and dance like little girls, not like some dangdut singers. Shame on you, TV people, for condoning this.


I was so stressed out yesterday, even after meeting Ayin for lunch. So today, on the way from Court to the office, I stopped at Borders and get myself my first books for 2008: Fashion Babylon by Imogen Edwards-Jones, Nineteen Minutes by Jodi Picoult and Eat, Pray, Love: One Woman's Search for Everything by Elizabeth Gilbert. Now I’m feeling much better. Yeay.

Do you know the song If You Go Away? It is based upon the French song "Ne Me Quitte Pas" made famous by the movie Mukhsin. The fiancé sang the first 2 lines to me yesterday and it brought tears to my eyes. Ngeee. Click here to listen/watch one of the renditions (by Tran Thai Hoa). Isk isk syahdu.


*** Updated on January 24th after reading Kenny the legendary blogger's blog. He has something cute to say about this issue:

"First Sharifah Amani, and now Faizal Tahir gets banned? Hello? It's Faizal Tahir, not Janet Jackson. Isn't banning a rock star for baring his chest during a rock concert a bit too heavy-handed? Imagine forcing Red Hot Chilli Peppers to keep their shirts when they play. Or banning Man U players from taking off their shirts when they scored a goal. Go ahead Malaysia, keep banning local talents. At the rate this is going, there'll be nothing left to watch on local TV. Then everyone will switch to the Internet and your TV networks will suffer." To that I shall say, "Here here!"

How does she know that you love her?
How do you show her you love her?
How does she know that you really, really, truly love her?

I have a ritual with my neighbour’s dog. Every morning I will circle halfway through the neighbour’s fence and the dog will send me off until I am out of the sight. It never fails to bring a smile to my face :)

It is amazing how many places you can go to and how many things you can accomplish when you are having so much fun. Not to mention, how quickly time flies. Ayin who is back in Semenanjung (for only a short while) and I toured the KL yesterday; from Concorde at 11.30 a.m. to Times Square to Jalan Bellamy for the legendary ikan bakar to Bukit Bintang and Sungei Wang for birthday-gift-hunting to KLCC for Enchanted to Concorde again at almost 8 p.m. Hehehe. One fun Monday I must say.

[Photo: Shot with Nikon Coolpix L3]

Today’s my beloved Ibu’s birthday! At the stroke of 12, Bapak, Little Bro and I woke Ibu up from her deep sleep and celebrated with satay and yummy birthday cupcakes (from Bakin' Boys). A shout out to the woman I love more than anything in this whole wide world! Semoga Allah sentiasa memberkati Ibuku di dunia dan akhirat, ameen :)

God I feel so small sometimes in this big old place
Yeah I know there's more important things
But don't forget to remember me

I succumbed to my temptation caused by all the hype and the long queue, and resulted in conforming to the urban society. Now I am hooked on the yummy donuts of Indonesian own J.Co.

I am so rooting for the hunky hunks of the Amazing Race Asia 2. And Rovilson’s adorable “Spelling Bee Runnor Up” t-shirt definitely doesn’t help with my obsession. Too cute.

Serendipity used to be my all time favourite romantic movie, until recently The Perfect Catch came along and now I can’t decide anymore.

What is it with my girls and the magic they have on me? I pity those without their own bunch of chill pills. I really do.

Driving on the highway is to me, very therapeutic.

There are times when I get this out-of-body feeling in Court; probably because sometimes I feel like I am just acting as a matured, know-it-all lawyer while deep down I am still my daddy’s little girl.

I feel so selfish after watching Oprah's episode on Giving today. When was the last time I contributed in making a real impact in someone's life?!

Sometimes I forget that I am getting married in less than 3 months! I think that man, the fiancé, deserves a salute, for he is brave enough to take the risk to marry a spoiled, neurotic girl. Yes, I wrote it right. Girl.

Sesungguhnya aku tidak layak masuk syurgaMu
Namun tak upaya menghadapi api nerakaMu

Lewat senja ini, akan hadirlah tahun baru dan terbukalah buku baru buat kita semua. Mudah-mudahan akan beratlah neraca kita ke arah syurga. Alhamdulillah, masih diberi peluang menikmati dunia. Alhamdulillah juga, ada dua jemputan menyambut tahun baru yang saya terima; satunya kenduri doa selamat di Firma (ya, ini juga perkara yang saya suka mengenai Firma ini, adanya pengisian rohani) serta satunya lagi majlis tahlil lewat senja nanti di rumah jiran (mudah-mudahan sempat pulang).

Semoga tahun baru ini dan buku baru ini, akan lebih baik dari tahun-tahun dan buku-buku sebelumnya. Memetik kata-kata Ustaz Fauzi (Al-Kuliyyah) dan Raja Mazian (Al-Hidayah), “Semalam adalah sejarah yang tak boleh dipinda. Esok adalah mimpi yang belum nyata. Hari ini adalah kenyataan yang menentukan siapa kita.” Selamat tahun baru semua!

How can we be lovers if we can't be friends?
How can we start over when the fighting never ends?
Baby, how can we make love if we can't make amends?

I’m taking time off from my work (yang banyak!) to blog (letih dan malas!); I just have to get this out of my system. Biasalah kan.

[Nota: Ini bukan pendapat peribadi. Saya tidak percaya pada generalization]

Did you listen to Hitz.FM Morning Crew today? A guy named Adam called and confided in the Morning Crew about his girlfriend, Alia. Adam thinks Alia’s guy best friend, Joshua cannot be trusted; Adam is convinced that Joshua is in love with Alia. But Alia thought that that is nonsense.


So the Morning Crew did the Slimy Guy Test; they asked Alia to call Joshua to pretend that she was having problem with Adam. Man, was Joshua slimy!!!! Teramat! He immediately told Alia that he thought he saw Adam somewhere in Hartamas with another girl, looking more than friendly. And when Alia asked him, “If I break up with Adam, would you go out with me?” and Joshua, without further ado, answered, “Babe, I really love you and I would take good care of you”. Hah! Slimy amat, kan? Hahaha!


So there you have it; another testimonial to demonstrate the theory that Man and Woman Can Never Be Just Best Friends. Contoh terhampir: The fiancé and I were just SMS buddies before, but look where it got us! We’re getting married in less than 3 months! Hahaha!

Call my name and save me from the dark.
Bid my blood to run before I come undone.
Save me from the nothing I've become.

Apparently, as at today, some people thought I am:

[Note: (1) Larger words indicate characteristics that have been assesed to me more than others by my friends; (2) This is a Facebook application]

Well apparently, nobody described me as being DILIGENT. Hahaha. Well let's see what DILIGENT is defined as.

Adj. Diligent - quietly and steadily persevering especially in detail or exactness; characterized by care and perseverance in carrying out tasks.

Hahaha! I guess they know me well enough. Bye nak balik berbuka puasa!

Bekerjalah seolah-olah kamu akan hidup selamanya,
dan beribadatlah seolah-olah kamu akan mati esok hari.

Hari ini genap dua tahun saya berada di Firma ini. Sebagaimana kebanyakan perkara, ada yang digemari dan ada yang tidak tentangnya.

Saya tidak gemari:

(a) kesejukannya yang teramat sangat;
(b) beberapa individu di sini;
(c) masalah “I’m young and I’m underpaid” yang dialami oleh kebanyakan practicing lawyers di Kuala Lumpur;
(d) kejauhannya dari rumah saya;
(e) satu demi satu sahabat yang saya gemari meninggalkan Firma ini;
(f) sesetengah kes yang terpaksa saya tangani. Tapi semua itu perlu ditepis kerana seperti yang tunang saya selalu ingatkan saya, “Kerja itu ibadah”.


Tetapi disebabkan saya telahpun setia selama dua tahun, jelas sekali bahawa terdapat perkara yang saya benar-benar gemari tentangnya seperti:

(a) kawasan di mana Firma ini terletak;
(b) sesetengah kes yang perlu saya tangani kerana ia mencabar dan saya rasa saya dapat menyumbang kepada masyarakat;
(c) immediate superiors saya yang tergolong dalam golongan majikan yang boleh dan wajar digemari serta dihormati;
(d) Jabatan saya di Firma ini; di mana terdapat ikatan kekeluargaan yang sungguh menyelesakan dan semangat saling tolong-menolong yang kuat di antara (kebanyakan daripada) kami.

[Photo Credit: Suhail]

Gambar ini menunjukkan sebahagian dari masyarakat di Jabatan saya di Firma di mana saya bekerja.

Terdapat Hadith yang berbunyi "Sesungguhnya Allah sangat cinta kepada orang mu'min yang berkerja." Sesungguhnya saya sentiasa perlu diingatkan tentangnya. Selamat hari Jumaat, semua!

I have heart for any fate

On the stroke of midnight of New Year yesterday, I was high on drug. Ngeee. I actually passed out after taking my flu medication and woke up only at 2 a.m. to watch the TV. But “high on drug” sounds way cooler. Not! Ngeee.


Despite the loads of works and my lack of enthusiasm to execute them, I think that it is going to be a Good Day today; because:

(a) it is the first working day of the year 2008; and

(b) at least 11 red cars passed me on my way to Court today - Christopher John Francis Boone (from the charming, award-winning novel, The Curious Incident of the Dog In the Night-Time by Mark Haddon) believes that 4 red cars makes it a Good Day, 5 red cars = Super Good Day, 3 red cars Quite Good Day and 4 yellow cars = Black Day.

Already, good luck has started! I just checked my bank account and alhamdulillah it is true that there is a year-end-bonus from the Firm. Yeay!


The Chinese believes that 2008 is the year of the Rat which means that this is a good year to begin a new job, get married, launch a product or make a fresh start. As a Muslim, I simply believe in qada’ and qadar and I think Judy Abbot speaks for me (in one of my favourite book, Daddy-Long-Legs by Jean Webster) when she says, “Whatever sky is above me, I have heart for any fate” :) Have a good year, people!